Wicked excited that TCM is showing this feature for Silent Sunday because I finally get to see the great Douglas Fairbanks in action.
PLOT: The film begins with a flashback to Three Musketeers-era France, with Fairbanks starring as D'Artagnan and engaging in a sword fight. Fast-forwarding 128 years, we find our hero, an All-American boy that goes by the name of Ned Tacker, played by a less heroic, geeky-looking Fairbanks. We learn that Ned does a less-than-D'Artagnan-like job of defending himself in a barroom brawl, but still manages to get the job done. Well, half of the job done, at least; he manages to upset his love interest so much that she slaps him.
Flashing back to shortly before Ned was born, there is a big tornado or wind storm of some sort in his small Kansas town. Mrs. Tacker, for some reason, has high hopes for her child, saying that she prays for him to be like D'Artagnan. Ned grows up like D'Artagnan - "always chivalrous, always misunderstood. He finished four years of college in six months - by request." We learn that Ned is chivalrous, but he displays chivalry naively.
When Mrs. Thacker (Edythe Chapman) reads Ned The Three Musketeers, we see that Ned is an incorrigible man-child with a longing to get out of Kansas. He feels the unexplainable need to climb up the steeple of a church and shout to the whole town that he wants to leave. His mother, who is one of those parents that thinks their kids can do no wrong, is deathly proud of him. "He will always be a boy," she says.
Ned sets off on his adventures in a swanky new car (for 1917, this is a pretty nice ride) which he drives right into a fence. I wonder what they had for DMVs back in 1917, because Ned certainly needs one.
Ned pulls up alongside Forrest Vandeteer (Eugene Ormonde) and Elsie Dodge (Marjorie Daw) and ends up making friends with the valet, a Frenchman who knows the story of D'Artagnan. Great minds think alike. Everyone heads to El Tovar and comes face-to-face with mules blocking their path. Here, Fairbanks shows he can be funny as well as adventurous when he attempts to ask the mule to get out of the way, and it works! Asking nicely always works. Trust me.
From John Blabb, a gossip columnist, Ned learns that Forrest has three wives stashed away, and that Elsie is his latest victim.
Venturing out into the Grand Canyon, we meet Chin-de-dah (Frank Campeau), the chief of an ancientIndian clan, and James Brown (Tully Marshall), a fugitive from New York. Chin-de-dah complains to James that he needs a woman. #guy problems
The next morning, everyone decides to go riding. That is. everyone except for Ned; he stays behind and questions Elsie's mother (Kathleen Kirkham). He asks her why she is letting Forrest (whom he kindly refers to as a "monkey") marry her daughter. Mrs. Dodge exclaims eloquently, "You are a nice boy!" ...Really, lady? I mean, yeah, you don't like Forrest, and that's all well and good, but really, put up a fight.
Anyway, she tells him to run after her to save her from Forrest, but James tells him that there is no possible way to reach her unless he takes the scary way through. Ned, being the genius that he is, ties a rope to a tree and he and James climb down ("take the elevator," as Ned affectionately calls it). Ned climbs the ladder all the way up to the cave where no one ever returns from alive.
Chin-de-dah arrives and announces that he is getting married to Elsie and Forrest says that he will have him arrested. Ned hears all of this and points a gun at Chin-de-dah, intending to kill him. A cool fight in the cave ensues with Nerdy Ned punching Chin-de-dah's lights out.
Forrest runs into James, who seems to remember him from National City but Forrest doesn't (hate it when that happens). James claims that Forrest cheated him out of his wife and kids and they begin fighting. Ned catches up to Forrest and forces him to write that James is innocent and that he will never pursue Elsie again and return to one of his wives. The cops and Chin-de-dah chase after Ned, but Ned is too fast for them. He grabs Chin-de-dah's knife away from him, keeping it "as a souvenir."
Forrest offers to pay Ned $100,000 as soon as he is out of danger if Ned helps save his life. Ned agrees and pulls him and Elsie up by the rope from which he descended. The film ends with Ned promising to share the $100,000 with Forrest, Elsie ends up with him, and the bad guys are foiled.
REVIEW: As an aside, I really hate it when TCM lists the silent films as simply "silents" and doesn't list a genre on the schedule on tcm.com.
Douglas Fairbanks was a silent film pioneer. He introduced the swashbuckler genre, or rather, just the adventure genre in general. He reminds me of Don Lockwood in SINGIN' IN THE RAIN. This was the first Fairbanks film I've had the pleasure of seeing, and it was nice to see him play comedy. A lot of actors (Frank Sinatra, for example. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE, anyonw?) are known for one genre and one genre only, and never really get a chance to show what they can really do, and what they went to film school for, so it was nice that Douggie got to show that he was talented in the comedy field as well here. 3.5 out of 5 stars; a bit confusing, and the film ends a teeny bit too quickly.
Directors: Gus Meins, Charley Rogers
Cast: Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy
Laurel & Hardy's second feature film, made one year after SONS OF THE DESERT, also features Payne Johnson as one of the Three Little Pigs.
PLOT: Set in Toyland, a fairy tale world, Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) and Ollie Dee (Oliver Hardy) are toy makers who end up getting fired. That turns out to be a problem because Mother Peep, the old lady who lived in a shoe, is going to lose her shoe to town codger Silas Barnaby (played again by Henry Brandon), unless she consents to have her daughter, Bo Peep (Charlotte Henry), marry him. Barnaby is old and disgusting, and Bo is a blonde, so of course she's gonna say no.
With no job and no way to get the money, Stannie and Ollie sneak into Barnaby's house and try to steal the mortgage, but Stannie screws it up again ("Goodnight, Ollie!") and Barnaby has them arrested for burglary. The Boys are forced to be dunked in water and then sentenced to Bogeyland. Barnaby drops the charges when Bo reluctantly agrees to marry him. However, in an ingenious gag, when Barnaby goes to kiss the bride, the veil reveals Stannie! Ollie tears up the mortgage.
Barnaby plans his revenge by framing Tom, Tom, The Piper's Son (Felix Knight) on a bogus charge of pignapping (why would ANYONE want to pignap the Three Little Pigs? They are so precious!). Tom is banished to Bogeyland despite Bo's pleas, but Stannie and Ollie return with Elmer the pig, announcing that they found him in Barnaby's cellar, and chaos and hilarity ensues as The Boys chase Barnaby through Bogeyland. He is finally caught using Stannie's knowledge of "peewees" and Ollie suffers a backside full of darts.
REVIEW: This feature was full of gags that would be used in later L&H shorts, such as TIT FOR TAT and THEM THAR HILLS. Funny as always. Not one of their best, but certainly enjoyable and entertaining. 5 out of 5 stars.
Director: Gordon Douglas
Cast: Carl Switzer, George McFarland, Eugene Lee, Darla Hood, Billie Thomas, Henry Brandon
Tonight at the Saps At Sea tent meeting, I had the pleasure of meeting Patsy Currier, Payne Johnson and Priscilla Montgomery, all of whom are featured in this short Our Gang film. I was lucky enough to get their autographs and had the pleasure of watching this short.
PLOT: Alfalfa (Carl Switzer), dubbed "King Of Crooners," is the star of another big show in Spanky's (George McFarland) basement. To the disappointment of the audience full of youngsters, Alfalfa tears into an off-key rendition of "The Barber Of Seville." To be honest with you, I didn't think the kid sounded half that bad.
Anyway, everyone boos him and when Spanky tells him off, Alfalfa goes to the Cosmopolitan opera house with Porky (Eugene Lee) in tow, wanting to appear in the next opera. Barnaby (Henry Brandon), the owner, tells him that they don't need him now, but jokingly offers the boy a contract, telling him to come back in twenty years. Alfalfa naively agrees and returns to the gang's show. Spanky calls BS on the contract, Alfalfa calls BS on Spanky and goes to take a nap backstage. He dreams that twenty years have passed and he is getting a great big opera debut. He utters only a few bars of "The Barber Of Seville" when the audience begins to throw food at him. Can you believe that? They throw food at a ten-year-old. Big jerks. Anyway, Barnaby, now an old man, kicks him onto the street and tells him that he must walk the streets performing opera. They happen upon "Club Spanky." Spanky, now rich and famous, invites them in, but when Alfalfa tries to perform, Barnaby catches him. Alfalfa wakes up from his dream and goes out to perform as a crooner and the gang finishes the show to applause.
REVIEW: Aren't these kids just precious? I applaud Hal Roach for giving the kids a chance, and for breaking the racial issues of the day by including the African-American Buckwheat (Billie Thomas). 4 out of 5 stars. So cute.
Director: Michael Curtiz
Cast: Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid
Tonight I had the extreme, extreme pleasure of viewing what is widely considered the greatest film of all time on a big screen thanks to TCM celebrating the film's 70th anniversary. I completed item #12 on my bucket list: see a classic film on the big screen.
PLOT: Do I really have to tell you this? Oh, all right, fine.
In Casablanca, French Morocco in December of 1941, Rick's Café Amèricain is a safe haven for refugees seeking passage to the United States, as well as French and German officials, one of which is Captain Louis Renault (Claude Rains), the prefect of police and one of the comic relief actors in the film (who knew Claude Rains was this hilarious? I sure didn't!).
Everything is going terrific at Rick's when all of a sudden, Rick's (Humphrey Bogart) ex-lover, Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman) walks in with her new hubby Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid). Rick's pianist Sam (Dooley Wilson) is asked by Ilsa to play "As Time Goes By," thus forcing Rick to bear down on Sam and it is then that he notices Ilsa. The film then flashes back to the love affair that Rick and Ilsa had in Paris (and you can DEFINITELY see Bogie's tongue when he kisses Ilsa the second time).
In the present day, Renault and the French authorities are determined to keep Laszlo in Casablanca because of his history as a Czech Resistance leader and his escape from a Nazi concentration camp. He and Ilsa need letters of transit to get to America so Victor can continue his work. German Major Strasser (Conrad Veidt, who also starred in CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI) joins forces with the French to see to it that he does not succeed.
After a very powerful scene in which "Die Wacht am Rhein" and "La Marseillaise" are sung, Strasser gets butthurt and commands Renault to shut down the club. Later that night, Ilsa confesses that she still loves Rick and he agrees to get Laszlo out of Casablanca and let her stay behind with him. That is, that's what she thinks, but what Rick is really planning to do is get her and Laszlo out of Casablanca so that he [Rick] and Ilsa can both have better lives.
In a confusing scene, Rick holds Renault and Laszlo at gunpoint when Renault tries to arrest Laszlo as planned and forces them to help Laszlo and Ilsa escape. Rick finally convinces Ilsa to go with Laszlo and the film ends with Rick's classic line to Renault, "Louis, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."
REVIEW: There's a reason why this film is widely considered the greatest of all time: classic lines. Seriously, every single word that Bogie utters in this movie is a downright classic. It's one of my favorite films of all time. It has a little something for everyone: action, romance, even a little espionage. There are a few random scenes, such as one of Renault's women asking Rick if Renault keeps his word about a passport to America for her and hubby, and some of the exchanges are a bit dry, but the film shines nonetheless. Also, nice guest appearance by Peter Lorre. What a relief to see him play comic relief. I think he, like Dwight Frye, was typecast as the bald foreign evil guy and never really got a chance to show what he could do. I applaud Michael Curtiz and Hal Wallis for seeing that he could do some comedy and making use of it.
Director: Billy Wilder
Cast: William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich von Stroheim, Nancy Olson
Saw this film in my other film class a few weeks back and didn't think to review it till now. -.-
PLOT: This film tells us its only intent is to serve as a shining example of film noir in the very first scene, as a deceased Joe Gillis (William Holden) is describing to us what has happened to him as his lifeless body floats in a pool.
In life, Joe was an unsuccessful screenwriter. Lost without a purpose or a cause in life, he somehow finds his way to the home of Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson), a washed-up movie star from the silent era. She takes him in and Joe finds himself in a world of the past; everything in Norma's house, from the furniture to the walls to her car and even to Norma herself is of the 1920s, a time long since forgotten by 1950.
In the meantime, Joe meets a budding young female writer, Betty Schaefer (Nancy Olson), with whom he secretly begins to work with on a script. Norma continues to pet Joe, buying him expensive suits, jewelry and other gifts while he helps her make her "triumphant" return to the screen. Joe realizes she's full of baloney and falls in love with Betty (YAY!)
In the meantime, Norma's butler, Max (Erich von Stroheim), comes to play a pivotal role in the film as he reveals to Joe that he was Norma's first husband. In the end, Joe falls to his death at Norma's hands when she finally comes back to the present and realizes that he's left her for better things.
REVIEW: I'm not a stoner and abhor the stuff, but this would probably be a great movie to watch stoned. It is THAT trippy and the plot reminds one of Bob Seger's hit "Hollywood Nights."
Interestingly enough, while this film is highly regarded today, it didn't get a lot of positive feedback when it was released because by the 50s, the 20s were a skeleton in the closet. Everyone was essentially "only thirty years old my ass" and no one wanted to hear, speak, or see of that long-forgotten period. Same story with Singin' in the Rain. Eventually, we all came to our senses and realized that the 20s were pretty darn cool, so we started making and watching more movies about them.
I'm gonna give this film 4 out of 5 stars because I hated Norma Desmond. Nice guest star appearances by Cecil B. DeMille and Buster Keaton.
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"All right, Mr. DeMille. I'm ready for my close-up."
Welcome to another Silent Sunday at the Psycho Ward! This week we'll be reviewing the silent adaptation of Giacomo Puccini's opera, La Boheme.
PLOT: The film takes place in the Latin Quarter of Paris in 1830 and focuses on two people, a starving artist--a literally starving artist--named Marcel (Gino Corrado) and his roommate, Rodolphe (John Gilbert) a playwright. The boys are struggling to pay their rent and are lost for words when the landlord comes looking for it. The landlord is even a jerk to Mimi (Lillian Gish), an orphaned, friendless embroiderer. I think the landlord is bipolar because ha few moments before he demands the rent from her, he hits on her.
Anyway, Mimi heads to a pawn shop, the Mont de Piété (Mount of Piety). Meanwhile, Rodolphe apparently isn't able to write about such a simple subject as a cat, leading us to believe that he blatantly failed all of his college English courses. We are introduced to a new character, Viscomte Paul (Roy D'Arcy), who "does nothing but it does it gracefully" (they clearly lifted these jokes from Laurel & Hardy's silent shorts). He hits on Mimi, but she rejects him.
The comic relief in this film, Rodolphe's other roommate, musician Schaunard (George Hasssell), is luckier than both boys and somehow comes up with the full rent and saves the day. Marcel's neighbor, Musette (Renée Adorée) has dinner and Marcel uses her to give his roommates food in a scene that is clearly a sight gag from a Laurel & Hardy short, as the boys keep inviting friends to dinner.
Marcel falls in love with Mimi, and asks her to pose for him in a scene that took advantage of pre-code so much it hurts. He tells everyone that she looked very cold and hungry and everyone decides to pitch in and give her food. Isn't that nice of them? She, as expected, won't have any of it. They, as expected, make her eat. Everyone decides to give her a share in everything they have. This is probably the nicest thing that I have seen anyone on camera do. Mimi thinks so too, and she begins to cry.
Meanwhile, the creepy Viscomte Paul will stop at nothing to make Mimi his, but Rodolphe will have none of it. He tells Mimi that Schaunard has just sold his song to get her away from him, but she won't go. Paul poses as a customer to get close to her, but she drives him away. Good for her! He's a creep.
Mimi calls on her true love, Rodolphe, who apologizes for being jealous. Mimi shuts the window in Marcel's face and that's what makes me officially not like her. She's playing everyone like fiddles. I bet she's secretly rich.
On Easter Sunday, Rodolphe and Mimi have a tender moment together in the park. He tries to kiss her, she won't have it, and here us ladies learn why we should never date artists. Too touchy-feely. Eventually, Mimi warms up to Rodolphe and even teaches him how to dance. She still won't kiss him, but they're getting closer. She finally admits she loves him and they share a kiss (YAY!!!!!!!!!!)
Now that Rodolphe and Mimi have a purpose for living, they work harder than ever. Mimi goes to Rodolphe's boss and asks him to give Rodolphe another chance. The boss responds by discharging him. Mimi decides that Rodolphe must not know that he has been fired. She tells him that the director was so pleased. Poor Rodolphe is so happy and he announces that he has finished the first act of his play, that Mimi is his muse and shows her the first act. Mimi works day and night to keep up the lie and she becomes sick. She is warned that she will lose her beauty and that Rodolphe will not love her anymore.
After a tender scene between the two lovebirds, Paul shows up. Leave it to a creeper to spoil a tender moment, right? He sees Rodolphe's play and offers to put in a good word for him to a theater manager. Mimi agrees and the camera zooms in on her legs, a move that is DEFINITELY pre-code. Rodolphe enters and sees Paul fondling his girl. Mimi tries to explain that Paul is only trying to help get him noticed, but he will hear none of it and destroys the play.
Rodolphe decides to forget all about Mimi, but can't. He goes to a bar (how typical) and complains that he can no longer write anything. He sees his old boss and asks him to advance 5 francs on his next article. The man calls him drunk and reveals to him the lie that Mimi hid from him: that he was discharged five weeks ago.
Paul continues to be a creeper, telling Mimi that if she comes to him, she won't have to concern herself with trifles like Rodolphe's play (imagine if he were around to hear THAT!). Rodolphe confronts Mimi and gets the truth out of her, and becomes enraged at her for going out with Paul and getting new clothes and jewels. They end up making up and Rodolphe promises her that he will find a doctor so that she can get better. He returns with the doctor to find her gone. She has left him a note that basically says he must not sacrifice himself and that she will return when his play triumphs.
A few months go by and Rodolphe is now a successful playwright. While working in the slums of Paris, Mimi falls ill. The doctor arrives and tells her co-workers that she will die before morning.
Rodolphe says, "Mimi, come back to me!" and as if she heard him, Mimi gets up weakly and wanders the Paris streets, deathly ill, falling to the ground coughing. She is found by her parents and they take care of her. So basically, Rodolphe is partying while his ex-girlfriend whom he still loves is pretty much dying. Dream guy right there, am I right, ladies?
Well, finally this asshole mans up and he and Musette go to see Mimi. She basically hallucinates until she dies. The film ends sadly but beautifully, with Rodolphe remembering that Easter when Mimi told him she loved him.
REVIEW: Interestingly enough, the film starts out as a comedy and ends up being a tragedy. I don't think I've ever seen a film do that. Even though the jokes at the beginning were probably all borrowed from Laurel & Hardy, I enjoyed them and found them funny. Also, I enjoyed the tragic parts as well and the ending was solid and well-done. I'm going to give this film 5 out of 5 stars.
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Director: Robert Wiene
Cast: Werner Krauss, Conrad Veidt, Friedrich Fehér, Lil Dagover, Hans Twardowski
Haven't done an edition of Saturday Night Horror in a while! This week, we'll be reviewing a film from the German expressionist period that I've been wanting to see for quite some time: THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI.
THE PLOT: CALIGARI is, as the opening cue card states, a tale of the modern re-appearance of an 11th century myth involving the strange and mysterious influence of a mountebank monk over a somnambulist. In layman's terms, a crazy monk influences a sleepwalker.
The opening sequence begins and we see a young woman, Jane (Lil Dagover) who seems to be sleepwalking. The protagonist, Francis (Friedrich Fehér) claims her to be his betrothed, and begins to tell a story about their life together. Caligari is one of the earliest examples of the use of the flashback technique in a film.
Francis and his friend Alan (Hans Twardowski) decide to go to a fair that has arrived in their fictional town of Holstenwall. With the fair comes a mountebank (Werner Krauss) who is revealed via business card to be Dr. Caligari. He wants a permit to showcase his concession, Cesare (Conrad Veidt), a somnambulist, at the fair. The town clerk, who is in a bad mood and figures nothing can go wrong, gives it to him. Big mistake, as the next cue card will inform us.
That night, the first of a series of strange murders occurs. The first victim is the town clerk, and if you're like me, you're assuming that Dr. Caligari is instructing Cesare on who to kill.
The next day, Francis and Alan go to see the show. Caligari claims that Cesare knows all secrets and asks the patrons to ask him their future. Alan asks the man how long he will live and Cesare replies that he will die at dawn. Another cliché but effective horror movie trait.
Later that night, Alan is awoken by Cesare, who proceeds to murder him, fulfilling the prophecy. When Francis hears of the news that his friend has been murdered the next day, he tells the police and everyone he knows, including the town doctor, Dr. Olsen (Rudolf Lettinger). Surprisingly, he believes him and tells him he will ask the police for permission to examine him. I bet The Boy Who Cried Wolf wishes he were this lucky.
In what may be the earliest parody of terrible police work, the cops catch who they think is the murderer. This guy says he tried to kill an old woman, but that he had nothing to do with the other two killings, and for once, the accused is telling the truth. Take THAT, Law & Order!
Meanwhile, Jane is worried about her father, Dr. Olsen. She goes looking for him and happens upon Dr. Caligari's tent. The doctor shows her Cesare, and naturally, Jane being the heroine, has to become afraid.
Cesare's next murder is probably one of the more famous scenes in German expressionist film history. As he attempts to murder Jane, he realizes he cannot do it because he has fallen in love with her (of course. *rolls eyes*). He then leaves her for the cops to find.
While Caligari sleeps, Francis and the doctors at the insane asylum he has been admitted to sneak into his room. There, they find a book that is Caligari's "special study," according to Francis. The book reveals that in 1093 there was a monk named Caligari who traveled to northwestern Italy with his somnambulist, Cesare. Is Caligari a vampire? Let's find out...
Well, we don't know about the vampire thing yet, but we were right about Caligari ordering Cesare to attack the victims of Caligari's choosing. We also now know that Caligari is not really the Caligari mentioned in the book, but is desperately trying to become him, and when a somnambulist is admitted to the asylum, he gets his chance.
The next morning, however, Cesare is found dead in a ravine. The madman Caligari is placed in a straitjacket and we return to the present day, where Francis explains that the man is still a raving lunatic confined in his cell. The two men return to the asylum where Francis points out to his companion Cesare. He sees Jane and asks her when she will marry him. She replies that she is of royal blood and can't follow the wishes of her heart. Caligari steps out and Francis becomes quite mad himself, shouting that the man is Caligari and he is plotting their downfall and that they die at dawn. The film ends with Caligari believing that Francis believes him to be the mythical Caligari.
THE REVIEW: It's ironic because this film is about as long as an episode of LES VAMPIRES and Francis resembles Philippe Guèrande in a way.
Murnau's NOSFERATU is often touted as an expressionist film, and it is, but CALIGARI goes above and beyond when it comes to expressionism. Odd landscapes run rampant in this film. Even the trees are oddly shaped and creepy. The doors on the buildings too are slanted. The whole thing looks like it was filmed on a movie set, which it probably was. The music throughout the film really is textbook horror movie music. I'd give this film 4 out of 5 stars. Good early German expressionalism suspense/horror film.
Another Gene and Frank movie and some baseball sounds just about glorious on this Wednesday afternoon.
THE PLOT: In 1908, a fictional American League baseball team, the Wolves, gets a new manager, KC Higgins (Esther Williams), who becomes the immediate object of affection for womanizing players Eddie O'Brien (Gene Kelly), Denny Ryan (Frank Sinatra) and Nat Goldberg (Jules Munshin), also part-time vaudevillians during the off-season.
On Opening Day, Eddie keeps getting into fights with the other team and Denny ends up getting punched and nursed by a crazy female fan (also played by Betty Garrett. On the Town, anyone?). At the big party by the sea, Denny realizes he loves Shirley and when he kisses KC, they feel nothing, meaning that KC really does love Eddie, as big of a loser as he is.
Eddie ends up getting a job in a cafe as a dancer and as a result, the Wolves' lead in the pennant starts to dwindle. Little does he know, his "job" is really an elaborate scheme by his enemies to get the Wolves to slump.
At the pennant game, Eddie gets a bunch of kids to chant "We Want O'Brien" and everyone starts to catch on. O'Brien is "forced" into playing. Shirley discovers that the cafe owner is plotting against Eddie and tells Denny to stop him from playing. Denny hits Eddie with a hardball and he's out with a concussion. Shirley and Denny and KC tell the cops and they catch the bad guys. Eddie finds out that Denny hit him and hilarity ensues as Eddie runs after Denny in a state of rage.
THE REVIEW: What I love about this movie is that it is such a perfect movie to watch not only during baseball season, but also on the 4th of July because it is so classical American. As they say in the final song, everything from potato chips to comic strips, from Judy Garland to Fred Astaire is what makes America great. In fact, that's what this whole movie is about: what makes America great. Also, it captures the spirit of Ireland, with Gene Kelly and his Irish heritage performing traditional Irish folk dances throughout the film
Now for the downside: there are tens of thousands of sexual innuendos stuck in this movie. Everything from "third base" to Eddie's announcing that he can stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning. Interesting that all of that got past the censors.
All-in-all, this film captures the spirit of America and Ireland. It is all about the American pasttime, and for that I have to give it 5 out of 5 stars.
Directors: Alfred J. Goulding, Hal Roach
Cast: Harold Lloyd
THE PLOT: The Boy stays in a mansion with the girl of his dreams and is nearly fooled by the owners pretending to be ghosts.
THE REVIEW: I don't see this as a comedy. There are a few laughable parts, but overall, this is a very dark film. There is a scene that can almost be considered racist because of the title cards skewing how the black servant speaks. I give it 2 out of 5 stars. Not very enjoyable, though I did like the haunted pants bit. Almost scary, definitely racist and very dark.
THE PLOT: The Boy is a bellhop who has the chance to pose as a rich man. Hilarity as ensues as he tells the upper class all of his fake hunting expeditions, finally winning the girl of his dreams and the father's approval.
THE REVIEW: While it didn't have me laughing as much as ASK FATHER, this film was still an enjoyable comedy that had some funny moments. I'd give it 4 out of 5 stars.
Haven't done a Silent Sunday in a while! Welcome back! TCM is showing some Harold Lloyd films, so I'm going to watch and review them!
THE PLOT: In one of his first comedies, Harold Lloyd plays his most popular character, The Boy, in a desperate attempt to woo a girl, as usual. This film is pretty much a silent version of Office Spaced as The Boy tries all kinds of schemes, including dressing up as a knight, in order to woo the boss' daughter.
THE REVIEW: I find Harold Lloyd slightly more enjoyable than Buster Keaton. Buster makes me laugh, but he shows no emotion doing it. Harold makes me laugh showing emotion, and I thin that that is very endearing about him and this film had me laughing like crazy. 5 out of 5 stars.
EPISODE 10 - "Les noces sanglantes" ("The Terrible Wedding")
Released: June 30, 1916
Sounds like a Lemony Snicket novel.
I love how they list the concierge's death, as if it's important.
Anyways, Phillipe and Jeanne are now married, but as usual they're being melodramatic about the Vampires and how they can never be happy because of them and how their life sucks and how much they wish they were dead...nah, I'm kidding, but they're still being melodramatic, saying how they won't be happy with the Vampires hanging around. They keep the Guèrande's home under surveillance day and night. The concierge's widow Augustine becomes the Guèrande's chamber maid. She receives a strange letter telling her to go to a fortune teller to solve the mysteries surrounding her. In a rather haunting scene, the fortune teller conjures up apparitions of Irma and Lilly and Venomous. She then hypnotizes Augustine and tells her that at two o'clock in the morning, she will open the door to her master's apartment. Augustine leaves and then in perhaps the CUTEST scene in cinema history, Mazamette, who has a crush on her, takes her arm in his and says "Don't you want to put your trust in me?" and the two go home, Augustine begging him not to say anything to the Guèrandes. SO. ADORABLE.
Anyway, as predicted, Augustine opens the door at two AM to Irma Vep, Lilly and another Vampire. These frigging idiots just won't go away. That must be the millionth time I've typed Irma Vep. Anyway, they bound and gag her and set up some sort of machine. Luckily, Mazamette is watching and wakes up Phillipe and The Journalist Wonder and His Mustachioed Sidekick save the day again and alert the police.
Reasons Why Phillipe Guèrande Is A Bad-Ass #32: he sleeps with a gun under his pillow. Like, holy frick that just made him about 10 times sexier. Also interesting and ahead of its time is the fact that they show that the couple sleeps in the same bed. I understand that this is pre-code, but even some films from the 20s show couples sleeping in the same bed.
Anyway, while asleep, Jeanne cannot help but notice that someone is cutting out her window. When she sees that it's a Vampire, she shoots him/her with her husband's gun. Going to investigate, she is pulled down by a rope and carried away.
I just want to take the time here to say that I'm really glad that Phillipe got some balls and moved out of his mother's place.
Back to the film: in a scene that once and for all proves that LES VAMPIRES is ahead of its time by about fifty years, Phillipe infiltrates where Augustine and Jeanne are being held (is he wearing tap-dancing shoes in this scene?) by lassoing a rope to a balcony and climbing up to it.
Meanwhile, the Vampires are doing something positive for once in their lives and celebrating the wedding of Irma and Venomous. I know, I know...it's probably a business arrangement.
The next day Phillipe brings Mazamette and about a million cops to investigate the scene while the Vampires are still partying. Wow. Frats and sororities can take a LOT of pointers from these guys! And as much as I hate Irma, she sure can dance, but she's no Gene Kelly or Donald O'Connor. And then these losers think it's SO FUNNY to draw a picture of Mazamette and then shoot it. Karma is a bitch because the cops end up raiding their asses. Irma grabs and gun and runs to where Augustine and Jeanne are being held captive. In a move that is just freaking EPIC, Jeanne shoots her with hubby's gun and the girls run off with the boys.
The film finally ends with Mazamette asking Augustine's hand in marriage and everyone living happily after. THE END.
And there you have it. 10 episodes, each with distinct plot lines and amazing features that were ahead of their time. The whole serial gets 4 out of 5 stars.
Director: Michel Hazanavicius
Cast: Jean Dujardin, Berenice Bejo
Thought I would review this film for the silent aspect.
THE PLOT: George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) is a silent film actor. When 1929 rolls around, Valentin loses his chops to an up-and-coming young actress, Peppy Miller (Berenice Bejo). Valentin hovers on the verge of suicide, but then Peppy saves him. Ta-da. Leave me alone, it's 12:30 AM.
THE REVIEW: I applaud Michel Hazanavicius for bringing back the silent era because none of the Americans had the balls to do it. This will probably be the only silent film to win an Academy Award in 82 years. Sad, but you must remember that the Academy Awards did not exist in the silent era. 5 out of 5 stars. Well done. I loved it.
Directors: Peter & Bobby Farrelly
Cast: Chris Diamantopoulos, Sean Hayes, Will Sasso
Taking a break from LES VAMPIRES to go slightly against my credo. This and the next post will be on two modern films, The Three Stooges and The Artist, respectively.
THE PLOT: Even if you're a valley girl who doesn't give a rats' ass about classic film, you know who The Three Stooges are. The trio, comprised of Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Moe's brother Jerome "Curly" Howard (and later on, Moe and Curly's brother Shemp Howard, Joe Besser and "Curly" Joe DeRita), tore up the screen in the 30s-60s with their hilarious slapping, eye-poking, tool-abusing humor.
In this updated version of the classic Stooges, Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos), Larry (Sean Hayes, whom valley girls might recognize as Jack [?] from Will & Grace) and Curly (Will Sasso) are on a mission to save the orphanage they were raised in from closing. Hilarious hijinks ensue as the Boys try different outlets to get $830,000, including a chance to suffocate an adulterous woman's husband, who turns out to be the kid who stood Moe up for adoption when the Stooges were ten. In the end, the orphanage is paid for by the Stooges, unbeknownst to them.
THE REVIEW: I went into the theater not knowing what to expect besides the slapstick I know and love. In fact, I secretly expected the Farrellys to make a total disaster out of the comedy icons.
The film is a decent 92 minutes, and all of it is surprisingly quite pleasing. While listening to Moe and Larry talk, I could've sworn that I was listening to a recording of the original Moe and Larry; the voices were THAT spot-on. The slapstick was nailed down pat and the plot, while I didn't really appreciate the fact that it was taken out of The Blues Brothers, was very Stooge-y and good.
There are a couple of things I didn't appreciate. The pissing match for one. I couldn't look because it was too disgusting and totally un-appreciative of the Stooges' brand of humor. Same thing with the lobster biting Larry's...well...you know. I don't understand how the Farrellys can call themselves Stooges fans and then proceed to just slap them and their fans in the face with that kind of humor.
Things I liked were the inclusion of the opening credit music from the original shorts, the use of creative titles, the recycled gags and the use of material from the shorts (Men in Black, etc.).
All in all, speaking as a Stooges fan, I didn't really feel like I was watching a movie with a plot. I felt as if I were watching a very good impersonation. Don't get me wrong, I was paying attention to the plot and I liked it, but at the end of the day, that's all it was: a superb impersonation by Stooges fans, for Stooges fans.
I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars. The gross humor was too shocking and appalling for my Stooge fan blood, but this film had me, as well as everyone else in a surprisingly empty theater, laughing our butts off. It did its job as a friendly homage to the Stooges.
EPISODE 9 - "L'homme des poisons" ("The Poisoner") Released: June 2, 1916
QUICK RECAP (because God forbid you should remember something after a day): at the end of Episode 8, Satanas commits suicide and Irma Vep survives the ship crash and finds her way back to Paris.
Congratulations to Phillipe Guèrande on his engagement! I don't know how he met this girl, supposedly named Jeanne Bremontier, but I just hope he got her checked for STDs. Since he somehow met her in-between episodes 8 and 9, I'm guessing it was a one-night stand turned into romance.
Anyway, joke time's over. Venomous, the lead chemist and new leader of the Vampires, seeks revenge on The Journalist Wonder And His Intrepid Sidekick. They learn that Jeanne lives with her mother in an apartment in which the third floor is for rent. Irma and Lilly go to check it out the next day, and decide to move in the day after that.
In a dick move, Venomous calls the Béchamel House to cancel the Bremontier's order. Wow. I mean I understand he's a Vampire and all, but he doesn't have to be that big of a jerk when it comes to his work. His efforts amount to nothing, however, as the food comes nonetheless. While everyone is chatting, Venomous' accomplice makes the sinister statement, "Everything is ready - for their last meal." Cliche and cheesy line, I know, but coupled with the music, it's perfect.
One of the servants is poisoned from the champagne and the maid rushes to tell the dinner guests not to drink the stuff. Utter chaos ensues as one of the culprits climbs onto the roof and the other hides in a chest in the dining room. In a scene reminiscent of a Laurel & Hardy or Three Stooges comedy, Mazamette, a bit drunk, enters into the dark room looking for the wedding (in this case, engagement party) crasher, but can't find him and hides behind a curtain. When Phillipe decides to investigate, he grabs the curtain holding Mazamette, allowing the real culprit to sneak out unnoticed. The other partygoers come in and they eventually unwrap the curtain and reveal Mazamette.
A few days later, Mazamette and Mrs. G. wait for word from Phillipe, who is looking for a safe haven for them. Finally, word comes. Phillipe tells them to meet him at the Villa of the Roses at Chailly.
Later that night, as they're preparing to leave, Irma and Lilly begin to engineer their plan. However, Mazamette surprisingly knows what's up and nips Irma in the bud. But Lilly shows up and turns the tables, holding Mazamette hostage and tossing him off to the side. Mazamette is revived by the police and calls Phillipe to tell him that the person in the trunk is Irma Vep, who escapes but is captured by Phillipe and Mazamette. FINALLY!!!! Gosh, it took them long enough. However, the chase leads them to a moving train, on which Phillipe breaks his ankle.
The comic relief for this episode consists of Mazamette being arrested for slapping a police officer in the line of duty. Phillipe comes to the station to bail him out and ends up slapping him in the face. The boys make up, but as the final title card says, stay tuned, because we still haven't seen the last of the Vampires!
EPISODE 6 - "Les yeux qui fascinent" ("Hypnotic Eyes") Released: March 24, 1916
QUICK RECAP: When we finished Episode 5, Moréno had made off with some of the Vampires' loot that they had stolen from the partygoers.
It is in this episode that we are first subject to Moréno's hypnotic eyes, a gaze so cold that even your big-mouthed Italian father would be intimidated by it. As he uses its power on the maid, Laura, pay close attention to his hands. They appear almost claw-like, don't they? I find that, coupled with the power of the hypnotic eyes, very interesting. I think Moréno should be the vampire, not the Vampires themselves. Not only that, but he bears a stunning resemblance to Bela Lugosi. Perhaps this episode should have been titled Dracula.
Phillipe and Mazamette attend a play, where Mazamette spots Irma Vep and the Grand Vampire onstage and stupidly calls them out to the whole audience, and of course no one believes him.
Meanwhile, the Grand Vampire has stayed at the Fontainebleu and taken the pseudo, "Count Kerlor." He reads an article in the paper about an American millionaire whose cashier fled to Europe with a woman, and is asking for an arrest of the thief in exchange for $200,000. In yet another case of Americans thinking they're important and good enough to be in a movie concerning a foreign country, the American woman introduced as Mrs. Horatio Warner runs into the back room with Mr. Horatio Warner, whose real identity is Raphael Norton, the thief.
At another hotel, Phillipe and Mazamette open the box. "Tens of thousands of dollars!" Mazamette exclaims. "We're rich!"
Moréno has checked into the Royal Hunt and, while "Count Kerlor" is reading his friends a particularly drab story that all of them are probably feigning interest in, he strangles Viscount Guy, a Vampire, as he/she is leaving the American's room. He gags him/her and reaches into the pocket of his/her suit to reveal the treasure map that the thief had stolen. "Count Kerlor" and Mrs. Werner prepare for departure. Kerlor tells Mrs. Werner to steal the Americans' loot before they go.
The police raid the hotel at dawn. Mazamette, providing comic relief as usual, demands that the commissioner go look for the Werners. He does so and Horatio Werner is exposed to be Raphael Norton. However, despite their success, the police, Phillipe and Mazamette are unable to account for the Count, Countess and Viscount Guy Kerlor.
In a bizarre turn of events, a title card informs us that Moréno has fallen in love with Irma Vep and no longer intends to turn her into the Grand Vampire. This episode is very confusing, and that makes it twice as confusing. He gets her to confess all the crimes that she has committed by hypnotizing her with his glare. Count Kerlor comes, and Moréno instructs Irma to kill him. Here, the film stays ahead of its time again. Of course, we all expect her to be the smart, cunning lady that she is and overcome Moréno's Jedi mind trick (George Lucas can thank this film, too!), but she does the opposite of what everyone expects and shoots the man the second he walks in the room, and what's more, she embraces Moréno. Embraces him! Embraces her rival! The nerve. Actually, I think it's rather cute. The episode ends with, again, much-needed comic relief, as Mazamette has purchased a lavish apartment with George Baldwin's money.
Be warned: as I mentioned earlier, this episode is extremely confusing. Be sure not to mix up your women (or watch it too late at night when your brain is half asleep).
EPISODE 7 - "Satanas"
Released: April 15, 1916
A man comes to visit Moréno and Irma. After paralyzing Moréno with a needle lodged in the palm of his glove, he reveals that Count Kerlor, the fake Grand Vampire, is just that: fake. This man, Satanas (Louis Leubas, who also played Father Silence), is the true Grand Vampire.
Later on, at the Happy Shack Cabaret, the newly-rich Mazamette treats Phillipe and a few lady friends to dinner and a show. The Happy Shack is a favorite hangout of Moréno and his gang, so they show up as well, Irma's arm through Moréno's. Moréno receives a note from Satanas saying that since he refuses to surrender, he will see the full might of his power at two o'clock. Hey, this scene doesn't beat a barroom brawl on Jersey Shore, but it's still good suspense.
Getting a close-up of Satanas defeats all the elements of horror this film has. Satanas defines the face of horror. Watch the episode and you'll see what I mean. At exactly two AM, he loads a cannon and fires directly at the Happy Shack, causing the ceiling to fall in. The next morning, Irma and Moréno come to Satanas' home to surrender. The three join forces and plot to rob George Baldwin. Moréno enlists Lily Flower to help him.
Mazamette stumbles upon Lily, who just happens to be his main squeeze from the Happy Shack, taking out a load of money from the bank. He informs Phillipe and the two head to her place, where Phillipe ties her to her chair. A typical journalist who thinks he can get girls just by showing them his card, Phillipe flashes his card to her. Unimpressed (and rightly so. Set your standards high, ladies! Don't date a man just by what's on his card!), Lily refuses to talk. Phillipe and Mazamette force her to call Moréno and tell him and Irma to come to her place. They do and fall down a trap door, once again ahead of its time, to the waiting police. Moréno and Irma have been captured. Yay! But I liked them together...
EPISODE 8 - "Le maître de la foudre" ("The Thunder Master") Released: May 12, 1916
(I know, the title is very sexual to me, too)
Irma Vep has been sentenced to life in St. Lazarus prison. A transfer order sends her to a penal colony in Algeria. Before she leaves, she learns from Phillipe and Mazamette that Moréno was executed that morning. Shame, as I really did like them together.
Satanas disguises himself as a priest and infiltrates the ship where Irma is. He hands Irma a piece of paper that says "La verite sera a nu," an anagram for "La navire sutera," which translated means "The ship will blow up." More use of clever espionage. Sure enough, Satanas blows up the ship the very first try with his cannon (what great aim).
Phillipe and Mazamette (who reminds me more and more of Luigi of the Mario Bros. come to life) receive the news that there were no survivors on the destroyed ship and mourn (Mazamette does, at least), for one minute, Irma Vep. Because let's be honest, folks, one minute of mourning is all she deserves.
Talk about the least of the characters' worries. Mazamette's son, Eustache (René Poyen), gets sent home from boarding school for jokes and inappropriate behavior. Kids in 1916, am I right? I don't know. Back in my day, we behaved in school. Anyway, with Eustache in tow, Mazamette continues to investigate Montmartre for clues.
Satanas shows up at Phillipe's home posing as a civil engineer. After paralyzing Phillipe with the needle in his glove, Satanas shows him a declaration that he has been condemned to die by the Vampires to avenge Irma's death. After pinning the note to Phillipe like the smart-ass that he is, he also informs him that in five minutes his house will blow up. What a nice guy. Luckily, Mazamette of all people finds the bomb and disposes of it and then triumphantly claims that he knows where to find the Vampires.
In the climatic scene, Eustache confronts Satanas' servant first, while Satanas looks on through a creepy mask. He sees Eustache hide his father in a chest. He then confronts the boy, who for some reason has a gun (seriously, the kid looks like he's 7 or 8. He should NOT have a loaded gun). The police barge in and arrest Satanas and his servant. Poor Mazamette has a bloody nose from where the bullet hit!
Miraculously, Irma Vep is still alive (take THAT, atheists!) and trying to make her way back to Paris. She makes her triumphant return to the Howling Cat and everyone learns of Satanas' arrest. One of the Vampires, know only by the code name "Venomous" (Frederik Moriss), takes over. He has the instructions that Satanas left him in case of arrest.
Shockingly, but then again, not shockingly, Satanas commits suicide by poisoning himself, and the paper in the final scene of this episode asks the question we're all wondering, "Who provided the poison?" Stay tuned to find out!
(TO BE CONTINUED. THE FINAL TWO EPISODES WILL BE UP TOMORROW...)
Director: Louis Feuillade
Cast: Édouard Mathé, Musidora, Marcel Lévesque, Jean Aymé, Fernand Herrmann, Stacia Napierkowska
Before I get started, a Happy Belated Easter and Passover to all! Sorry I haven't been active lately; school has been getting in the way, but now I am back and ready to review one of the most famous serials of all time that I am finally getting around to watching in its entirety. NOTE: Since this is a serial, I will be posting the plot line of each episode, reviewing them and posting their respective videos individually in this post.
EPISODE 1 - "La tête coupée" ("The Severed Head")
Released: November 13, 1915
As the episode opens, the action begins right away as our intrepid hero, Phillipe Guérande (Édouard Mathé), a crack reporter for The Paris Chronicle, discovers that the file on the pesky criminal ring, The Vampires, has been stolen byOscar-Cloud Mazamette (Marcel Lévesque), the comic relief in an otherwise depressing film, who is also working undercover for the vampires. Mazamette then proceeds to tell a sob story about how he stole the file to support his family. He then announces that he and Guérande are working on this case together through thick and thin. Guérande then receives a telegram from his boss telling him that the decapitated body of National Security Agent Durtal, in charge of vampire investigations, has been found in a swamp. Obviously the work of The Vampires, right? Phillipe thinks so too, so he goes to see a friend of his late father's, Dr. Nox to get some answers, but Dr. Nox says he knows nothing about The Vampires. In the meantime, Dr. Nox is entertaining a young American multimillionaire, Margaret Simpson (Rita Herlor), who is interested in his property. Now I know that Americans are often used in foreign films, but unless there is a love story, I don't see how writing in an American could work well with a story that concerns the French.
Later, in his room, Phillipe receives a mysterious message from The Vampires telling him to give up his search, further proof of the Dumb Villain Theory #34: if you send the protagonist a note telling them to give up a search, they're not going to give up the search. Best not to send them a note telling them to give up the search. Phillipe pokes around and discovers a secret passageway behind a painting, and this is where I need stop and say something, and it is very, very important, so listen up. The reason why this serial was so successful, not just in France, but around the world, was its innovative nature, aka, the simple fact that it was ahead of its time by about fifty years. This little scene right here proves it. Most of us have seen the early James Bond films where Bond inspects his hotel room for booby traps. Connery Bond fans (and I include myself in that category) shouldn't thank Terence Young for coming up with the material, but rather Feuillade's innovation and creativity to make a film in 1915, for crying out loud, whose use of gadgets, booby traps and espionage paraphernalia makes it, quite possibly, the very first espionage film (dare I say thriller?).
Fast-forward to midnight, where Ms. Simpson teaches ladies everywhere a valuable lesson: never leave your jewelry in plain sight. A member of The Vampires sneaks into her room and steals it (but you knew that, right, ladies? Right). Now that he possesses enough evidence, Phillipe decides to take his case to the judge who snubbed him earlier. Now, of course, having been presented with evidence, the judge believes him and they investigate together. When Phillipe shows the judge the secret passageway behind the painting, he finds a box containing the head of the ill-fated Inspector Durtal. Upon returning to the magistrate's office, the men find the dead body of Mrs. Simpson (thus proving my point that writing in an American was useless) and Dr. Nox nowhere in sight. Looking on the mantle, the men find a note from The Grand Vampire (Jean Aymé) saying that he murdered the real Dr. Nox and assumed his identity and not to try and find him (Dumb Villain Theory #64: do not tell the protagonist(s) to not come and find you, because he/she/they will anyway). In the final shot of the episode, we see a foreshadowing of who appears to be our femme fatale, Irma Vep (Musidora), an anagram for--you guessed it--vampire, carefully traversing a rooftop.
The loud, chilling thump at the beginning of the opening credits and the subsequent music gives one the feeling that they really are watching a horror movie about, well, vampires, when really, they are watching a well thought-out murder mystery, and "vampire" or, more appropriate for this serial, "vamp," is used to describe a femme fatale. As mentioned earlier, so much is revealed in Episode 1 that is so far ahead of its time: the painting, the severed head, the feel that this really is the first espionage thriller. This episode proves the old adage: "It gets better."
EPISODE 2 - "La bague qui tue" ("The Ring That Kills") Released: November 13, 1915
In an episode a world shorter than The Severed Head, we find the Count de Noirmoutier reading the afternoon paper at the Blue Camellia Club in Paris. One of his friends hands him a ring, which we as an audience know is the title of this episode, one of many dramatic ironies that this serial has to offer.
Meanwhile, Phillipe is interviewing the woman Paris believes to be his fiancée (see? Celebrity gossip was a problem even in 1915), Marfa Koutiloff (Stacia Napierkowska). She is preparing to perform "The Vampires," a satirical and humorous take on the recent crime spree in Paris. You'd have to be pretty damn sadistic to make a satire out of a crime spree sweeping one of the biggest cities in the world. After Phillipe leaves, the Count arrives and slips the fatal ring on her finger, much to her happiness (let me tell you, women will do anything for jewelry). By the way, I talk about this film being ahead of its time, and I mean it when I say that Marfa's costume is a cross between Mickey Mouse and Batman, so Walt Disney, Bob Kane and Bill Finger have this serial to thank for their inspiration as well.
Anyway, the poison from the ring, which, even though she's taken it off, still has found its way into her system, begins to affect Marfa negatively while she does her Batman--er, I mean, her Vampire imitation, and the theater erupts into frenzy. Phillipe runs off in pursuit of Dr. Nox and finds himself in the clutches of The Vampires, who are dressed like the black-clad French version of the KKK. The Grand Vampire sends his minions a note that states that Phillipe will be interrogated by the Grand Inquisitor, and executed by the Black Committee at dawn. Everyone leaves except one guard and Phillipe, who is bound and a sheet placed over his head. Guess who the guard is? Yep, it's ol' Mazamette again. To explain his reasoning for conspiring with The Vampires, he tells Phillipe another sob story about how he can't pay room and board and the principal of his three sons' boarding school is going to kick them out if he can't. At midnight, the Grand Inquisitor comes and Mazamette and Philipe tie him up and escape, Mazamette providing much-needed comic relief by tapping on the bound and face-covered man's head lightly and smiling. At dawn, the Black Committee comes to execute whom they think is Phillipe, but really, as we find out when the cops and Phillipe show up, is Henri Delégué, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
More evidence in this episode that this serial is far ahead of its time. EPISODE 3 - "Le cryptogramme rouge" (The Red Code Book) Released: December 4, 1915
Now I know why Americans think so lowly of the French; those stupid monkeys tried to convince us that there was a red code book in a black-and-white picture.
Our intrepid hero has lifted a red code book from the Grand Inquisitor's body and is trying to decipher the message contained within. The translated message (translated by me, a French speaker, with a little help from Google Translate) reads: "The crimes of The Vampires in this book are instructions that misfortune will want to know these terrible secrets." Of course, the title card comes up and says, "The crimes of the Vampires are consigned to these pages. Those who attempt to learn these terrible secrets will be cursed. Beware!"
After Phillipe learns that his home is under surveillance by the Vampires, we cut to The Howling Cat nightclub, where we really meet our femme fatale, Irma Vep, for the first time without any secrecy.
Meanwhile, back at Phillipe's house, Mazamette returns and stops being the comic relief for a bit by pulling out a pen he stole from the Vampires' Grand Master. The ink is poison (another instance of the serial being ahead of its time) and within seconds can prove fatal to its victim.
A few days later, the Guèrandes' maid falls ill and the employment agency sends over a new one. Judging from her sneakiness in her chamber, it is safe to assume that this "maid" is really Irma Vep in disguise. In another instance of dramatic irony, she's been sent to the Guèrandes' home to retrieve the red code book. In the next sequence, she sneaks into Phillipe's room, and here we see one of the best early espionage sequences. Phillipe plays the master detective as he flips over a mirror to see Irma exchange a vial of some sort with a deadly one.
Phillipe's mother has received a note from her brother Jean informing her that he has been in a car accident and requesting her to come to Passy. When she gets there, Jean's maid informs her that her master is at the theater and that he was never in an accident. On the way home, Phillipe's mother is captured by the Vampires, who obviously set up the letter, another instance of dramatic irony.
Back at the house, Irma arranges for another member of the Vampires to sneak in so they can steal back the red code book. Phillipe is watching, though, and fires his gun. When the police come to investigate, Irma and the other Vampire have escaped onto the roof. Luckily for Phillipe, he has kept the red code book safe with him.
Meanwhile, in a shack in the slums, Mrs. Guèrande is held hostage by Father Silence, a deaf-mute who, you can imagine, is the exact opposite of Father Christmas. He shows her a letter that she must write to her son, instructing him to bring the book to Driver 113 at the North Station (in French, Gare du Nord). If she doesn't write it, Father Silence has been instructed to kill her. But lucky for ol' Phil's mom, she's picked up some espionage tricks from her son. She "accidentally" splashes a bit of the poison pen's ink onto Father Silence's hand. He fires his gun and collapses to the ground, dead, allowing Mrs. G. to escape.
I really like that we get the opportunity to see what Mom can do--more importantly, what a WOMAN can do--in a film made during a period where women still did not have many rights.
EPISODE 4 - "Le Spectre" ("The Specter")
Released: January 7, 1916
Relax - there are no ghosts here. Despite the vampires, this isn't a horror flick, remember?
In the opening minutes of this episode, we are introduced to two new characters, one of which is a new incarnation of The Grand Vampire, Mr. Treps, a real estate agent. The other is Juan JoséMoréno (Fernand Herrmann), leader of The Vampires' rival gang. Moréno is known for a hypnotic stare that he uses to control people. He wants an apartment that Mr. Treps is advertising, but there's a catch: the apartment must have a safe. Well, the apartment's got a safe. The only problem (for him) is that Irma Vep and "Mr. Treps" have made an opening on the other side of the room where they can take out whatever Moréno puts in the safe and inspect it, as they do with his leather bag. What follows is probably one of the first scenes in cinema history in which murder is committed on a train. Phillipe hears about the strange goings-on at the Renoux-Duval Bank and how Mr. Metadier hasn't been seen at Rouen with the 300,000 francs, so he decides to go undercover. He recognizes Irma Vep disguised as "Miss Juliette," a secretary.
At the home of Irma Vep, she and "Mr. Treps" make a gruesome discovery: the body of Mr. Metadier is hidden in a closet. They dig it out. Phillipe tries to hold the gangsters at gunpoint, but they escape, throwing him to the ground. Moréno returns home to find that his bag has been stolen. He crosses into the other room and Phillipe holds him at gunpoint. Moréno insists that he did not kill Metadier, but rather found him on deserted train tracks in the middle of the night after robbing a rich family's home. The episode ends with a comic relief sequence in which Mazamette, wearing a polka-dot tie and bowler hat, exclaims, "We'll get those Vampires!"
EPISODE 5 - "L'évasion du mort" (Dead Man's Escape)
Released: January 28, 1916
The episode opens with Phillipe (who, when I get a closer look at him, demonstrates a phenotypical cross between Gene Kelly and Dwight Frye) and the magistrate from Episode 1, M. Hamel, on good terms. Moréno is now in the custody of the French feds. After exclaiming "You'll never get me alive!" he commits suicide by swallowing cyanide. The feds place his body in the precinct cell, where this film really does turn into a horror flick. Overnight, Moréno, looking like ghost under all those white sheets, slowly rises back to life. Strangling his guard, he escapes.
Phillipe is at home recounting the escape of Moréno for his readers when, in a shocking turn of events, he is yanked out of his open window and shoved into a basket (I'd like to know where his mother was during all of this). A title card appears, stating the obvious: "Phillipe became the Vampires' prisoner!"
The Vampires drive to a location in Paris where there are some steps nearby, and Phillipe, ever the spy and detective, pushes himself down the stairs and miraculously survives. He meets Moréno at a café and is captured by Moréno and his men; a trap. Moréno decides that Phillipe will be hanged. However, Moréno offers to let Phillipe live if he lets him wreak his vengeance on The Vampires. Oddly enough, I find myself cheering for Moréno. He really is the good guy, or at least, the better guy between the two gangs.
Phillipe agrees to help and reveals that Baron de Mortesalgues is the Grand Vampire. Moréno returns the favor by keeping him bound and gagged. Just when all hope is lost, out comes Mazamette to save the day by freeing Phillipe.
Meanwhile, the Baron is holding a fancy-schmancy party for his niece's birthday. He announces that at midnight there will be a surprise. Oh, there's a surprise, all right. At midnight, a gas floats through the room (again showing that this film is ahead of its time in terms of concepts and materials used to tell a story) and knocks everyone unconscious, allowing The Vampires to steal what they want. However, Moréno, having been warned by Phillipe of The Vampires' plan, has hitched a ride with the robbers, hoping to steal some of their loot. The episode ends with Mazamette once again providing comic relief, angered that The Vampires and Moréno have escaped yet again. Moréno sends Phillipe a letter saying that now that he has amassed a large fortune, the two men are even.
Although this is not a comedy by any means, the small bits of comic relief we get at the ends of the episodes keep us interested in what would otherwise be a depressing, almost haunting film to some. To others (including me), the comic relief adds to the fun of a great murder mystery ride.
(TO BE CONTINUED. EPISODES 6-10 COMING TOMORROW...)
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