Saturday, September 22, 2012

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)

Director:  Charles B. Pierce
Cast:  Ben Johnson, Andrew Prine, Dawn Wells

PLOT:  Our story takes place shortly after WWII.  On Sunday, March 3, 1946, in Texarkana, Arkansas, a young couple goes on a date only to be attacked by a man in a white mask.  He leaves the girl bloodied and close to death on the side of the road, begging for help.  Luckily, she is taken to a hospital.

On Saturday, March 24, 1946, Deputy Norman Ramsey (Andrew Prine), takes car down to Lover's Lane when he hears gunshots.  He happens upon a parked car with no one in it.  He hears more gunshots.  He encounters a dead man and a girl that has been tied to a tree, who is dead also.  

After that, the town becomes fully equipped with resources to protect themselves against the killer.  The police organize a search for the killer.

PROM NIGHT!!!!  Sunday, April 14th.  Wow, they pray at this prom!  As Catholic as I am, that's kinda weird.  We didn't pray at my prom, junior or senior year.  We didn't dance to Amazing Grace, either.  Then again, it IS the South...

The phantom killer is waiting again.  This time, he preys on two prom-goers.  The boy ends up getting into a fight with the man, while the girl runs for her life.  She can't stay away for very long, though; the killer catches up to her and carries her away.  Meanwhile, the young man gets up.  I have to say, this girl does a horrible job of resisting.  Seeing the young man rise, the killer pulls out a gun and shoots the kid, who falls dead.  The killer then proceeds to use the totally unorthodox technique of hitting the girl by blowing a trombone into her back.  Apparently that's painful.  I was in band in high school, but I didn't play trombone, so I wouldn't know.

The police begin an investigation and, with the help of a black man, find the killer, who agrees to confess to the killings.  However, he is let go after the police are convinced he's not the killer.

In May, a man is shot in his own home.  The killer bangs open the door and shoots the man's lover.  She escapes through a back door, but the killer pursues her.  She finds her way to an elderly couple's house but does not die.

The day after, everyone boards up their windows and delivery boys wait till daylight to make their deliveries.  By this time, reporters have found their way to Texarkana, having found out about the stories.

During the day, the police plan a stakeout.  The killer is strangely out and, when fired at, runs away.  He jumps in front of an oncoming train with the police after him.  He reaches the other side, yet gets nailed by a great shot from Captain J.D. Morales (Ben Johnson).  He gets away, and no one know where he is now.      

REVIEW:  Finally, TCM shows a legitimately scary horror movie!  This was a great 70s thriller that had me on edge and wondering when the killer was going to strike next.  Some of the concepts were a little...unorthodox, but other than that, it was a great thriller.  4 out of 5 stars.

Full movie:

  

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The African Queen (1951)

Director:  John Huston
Cast:  Humphrey Bogart, Katharine Hepburn, Robert Morley

Watched this in film criticism today!

PLOT:  Canadian boat captain Charlie Allnut (Humphrey Bogart) is a steamboat mail carrier in charge of his boat, The African Queen, during World War I in August/September 1914.  He delivers mail and supplies to brother and sister British missionaries in the village of Kungdu in German East Africa, Samuel and Rose Sayer (Robert Morley, Katharine Hepburn).  They are attacked by German soldiers who burn the village.  Samuel dies after being beaten by a soldier.  Charlie returns and asks Rose to come with him on The African Queen so they can talk about what to do next.  He also helps her bury Samuel.

During the journey, Charlie grows annoyed by Rose's constant questions.  She asks him if he can make a torpedo and insists that they take the river route past a German fort and dangerous rapids.  After tackling the rapids, Charlie is shocked when Rose insists that they continue on the same route.

Down river, Charlie and Rose get ambushed by Germans.  As is expected, after overcoming the disaster, they fall in love.      

Charlie is covered in leeches and retained to bed.  He tells Rose that there is no way they can rescue The African Queen from the mud where it has been stuck ever since they lost the channel.  However, the rain frees the boat and Charlie and Rose head on their way again.  They build torpedoes and they are ready to take on the Louisa!  Rose wants to take it on all by herself, but Charlie convinces her to let him take it on by himself.

Charlie is captured and taken aboard the Louisa.  He spies Rose on a boat and the Germans capture her too.  Rose and Charlie get married aboard the ship, which then starts to sink due to an explosion.  In the end, Rose and Charlie go off happily in love.    

REVIEW:  This was one of the first films to be filmed on location in Africa.  This is a fun adventure movie and it was fun to see Humphrey Bogart not as a classy socialite like he portrayed in CASABLANCA, but rather as a rough-and-tumble boatsman with a crass vocabulary and a filthy lifestyle. 3 out of 5 stars.  

Trailer:


Saturday, September 15, 2012

The Wasp Woman (1959)



Directors:  Roger Corman, Jack Hill
Cast:  Susan Cabot, Anthony Eisley, Michael Mark, Barboura Morris

Second of two horror movies on TCM tonight, the first being 1970's EQUINOX.

PLOT:  During a board meeting, Janice Starlin (Susan Cabot) learns that cosmetics sales have fallen dramatically, and the executives think that she is to blame.  Janice wants to use enzyme extracts from the royal jelly of the queen wasp to reverse the aging process.  Luckily, a scientist, Eric Zinthrop (Michael Mark), has found a way to do that.  Janice agrees to take a look at the process, but only if she can serve as his human subject.

Three weeks after she's injected, nothing has happened.  Janice becomes impatient, and, sneaking into the doctor's lab, injects herself with extra doses of the formula.  The next morning, Zinthrop notices that some test subjects are becoming violent.

One night, Arthur Cooper (William Roenick) enters the laboratory, only to be attacked by a humanoid wasp.  He rants about Janice being in danger and how she isn't human anymore, how she killed a girl and ate her remains.  Meanwhile, Janice's secretary, Mary Dennison (Barboura Morris) experiences Janice's transformation and is attacked.  Bill Lane (Anthony Eisley) and Cooper run to confront the wasp.  Bill and the wasp get it an epic fight.  Cooper, however, is the one who finally throws the bottle of acid at Wasp Janice, killing her.      

REVIEW:  This film has a Spider-Man-esque feel to it, which I thought was very ahead of its time.  The concept of a humanoid wasp running around amused the hell out of me, and this movie had some good attack scenes.  3 out of 5 stars.  

Trailer:


Friday, September 14, 2012

Zenobia (1939)

Director:  Gordon Douglas
Cast:  Oliver Hardy, Harry Langdon, Bille Burke, Alice Brady, Hattie McDaniel

Some Laurel & Hardy movies on TCM early this morning.  This one features Hardy without Laurel.

PLOT:  In Mississippi 1870, Dr. Henry Tibbett (Oliver Hardy) cures a circus elephant of its sickness, but it begins to follow him everywhere!  The trainer sues Dr. Tibbett for alienation of affection.

REVIEW:  Stan Laurel did not appear in this film due to a contract dispute with Hal Roach.  The Boys would end up reuniting shortly after this film was released.  Hardy did a less-than-great job in this film,  proving that he did indeed need Stan to be good.  Harry Langdon wasn't too bad, but not great.  He really didn't give me a great first impression of him, really.  This film had some funny moments, but other than that, it wasn't that great.  2 out of 5 stars.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Andy Hardy's Blonde Trouble (1944)

Director:  George B. Seitz
Cast:  Lewis Stone, Mickey Rooney

Fourteenth Andy Hardy picture!

PLOT:  Andy (Mickey Rooney) is off to college!  On the train to school, Andy meets a girl, Kay Wilson (Bonita Granville) and Dr. M.J. Standish (Herbert Marshall).  Little does he know, two crazy girls, Lee and Lyn Walker (Lee and Lyn Wilde) are on the train.

Meanwhile, Judge Hardy (Lewis Stone) is ill.  He enlists the help of a doctor, Lee Wong Howe (Keye Luke), whom he attempts to sell a car that was owned by Katy Anderson (Jean Porter).

Andy and crew finally arrive at Wainwright College.  Andy asks Kay to the Freshman Breakfast the next morning.  Andy makes a re-acquaintance with Dr. Standish, who turns out to be the dean of Wainwright.

At the Freshman breakfast, Andy makes a scene, gesturing to Lyn that he wants her.  He finally gets a kiss from her, but she turns out to be a bit too clingy.

Meanwhile, back home, Dr. Lee insists that Judge Hardy, who has been reduced to lying on the couch unable to talk, get his tonsils out.  Judge Hardy agrees.

Classes have started at Wainwright!  Lyn gets some bad news and Kay sees Andy kissing her.  She forgives him and they make a date.

Andy happens upon Lyn singing and finds out there's two of them.  He promises not to tell anyone there's two of them, but Dr. Standish finds out and Andy must cover up for them.  Dr. Standish tells Kay and she kisses him.  Meanwhile, Andy poses as Dr. Standish and tells the girls' father that Lee is not with Lyn, and the girls thank him.

Andy packs up his things and prepares to leave, fearing that he'll be thrown out of his year.  However, Judge Hardy visits his son instead.  He finds out that his father and Dr. Standish went to school together, and that his father talked Dr. Standish out of quitting school.  He also learns that Dr. Standish has been appointed his own personal consulate.  At that moment, the girls come back and say that Lee can stay with Lyn until Thanksgiving break.  Andy is cleared of all his troubledoing and gets off scot-free, and finds a new girl!  

REVIEW:  For me being a college student, I can really relate to this movie.  It was fun and light-hearted and Mickey, as always, was cute as a button.  The jokes were cute and funny too.  5 out of 5 stars.            

The Legend of Hell House (1973)

Director:  John Hough
Cast:  Pamela Franklin, Roddy McDowall, Clive Revill, Gayle Hunnicutt, Roland Culver, Peter Bowles, Michael Gough

Haven't reviewed a film in a while!  Things have been getting in the way, but I'm back!

PLOT:  Mr. Deutsch entrusts Lionel Barrett with the task of finding survival after death within a week at the Belasco House, the "Mount Everest of haunted houses."  He is accompanied by his wife, Ann, as well as two mediums:  a mental medium and a Spiritualist minister, Florence Tanner, and a physical medium, Ben Fischer.

Upon entering the chapel, Ann begins to experience voices.  Tanner wants to have a seance that night.  During this, Ann begins to experience more visions, and begins to talk in the voice of a man.  The man orders the visitors to leave before he kills them.

At another seance, ectoplasm makes fingertips appear on Ann and it moves towards her neck.  The ectoplasm also moves in front of Fischer and then toward Tanner.  It suddenly attacks Ann with a loud popping noise.

Later that night, Tanner once again experiences the door opening and shutting.  Suddenly at dinner, their table begins to shake and silverware flies around the room.  The spirits attack Barrett and almost kill him.  Then, as quickly as it began, everything stops.

Barrett believes that Tanner is responsible for the attack, but she insists it was Belasco's son.

Ann is plagued by erotic visions at night in bed.  Meanwhile, Fischer sees a beautiful lady in white, which turns out to be Ann, who tries to seduce him.  She gets naked in front of him, to which he slaps her, bringing her back to herself, and she runs away.

Meanwhile, Tanner investigates whether Belasco's son is alive and he attacks her.  Everyone goes into the cellar and finds the son's skeleton.

In bed, Tanner is attacked by a vicious black cat who scratches her neck and back, forcing everyone to convince her to leave, but she refuses.  Ann tries to seduce Fischer again, but to no avail because she ends up getting attacked.  She tries to apologize to Barrett.

Fischer finally decides to leave the house and suggests that Tanner do the same.  Tanner finds the possessed black cat dead in her shower and dripping blood.

Barrett's machine is ready and the house is finally clear of spirits.  The machine suddenly explodes and Barrett is killed.  Fischer decides to confront the house head-on once and for all.  He insults Belasco's spirit and he and Ann leave in hopes that Belasco's spirit will return to the afterlife peacefully.                  

REVIEW:  The music is haunting and the scenery creepy.  The house is dark, decrepit, and scary.  The only thing I would call "bad" about this film is that the attackers are not shown.  I feel that even if they are spirits, they should have a physical entity to them.  That's what makes horror movies scary.  3.5 out of 5 stars.           


Monday, July 16, 2012

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1939)

Director:  Richard Thorpe
Cast:  Mickey Rooney, Walter Connolly, William Frawley, Rex Ingram

Y'know, ever since I read this book junior year of high school, I've wondered what kind of idiot hick would name their kid Huckleberry.  You all have probably read the book already (and if you haven't, why are you on the Internet?), so I'm not going to give you the plot because I don't tolerate and cannot stand lazy/failing students/people, and also because that is what the book is for.

REVIEW:  The first time I saw this movie, I was stricken by Mickey Rooney.  I love his Huck Finn, so innocent and charming to the naked eye, but mischievous, like the Huck in the novel, underneath.  Speaking of the novel, the movie follows it closely, which is rare of book-movie adaptations.  The characters, brought to life, are as funny and charming as they are in the book.  If you're one of those weirdos that finds this book/movie racist, yes it is slightly, but more importantly, it is one of the greatest American novels by one of the greatest American authors, and I highly recommend it.

Trailer:


Sunday, July 8, 2012

Silent Sunday: The Racket (1928)

Director:  Lewis Milestone
Cast:  Thomas Meighan, Marie Prevost, Louis Wolheim

Welcome to another Silent Sunday!

PLOT:  Nicholas Scarsi and his gang are arranging a bootlegging scheme, and it is up to police captain James McQuigg to stop them.  A big shootout breaks out and the news gets to the papers, as always.  McQuigg arrests Scarsi's man, Chick, who looks absolutely scary.  Nick invites McQuigg to a party and a series of death stares ensue before a gunfight.  One man dies and Scarsi is searched and arrested by McQuigg.  Unfortunately, money was just as big an influence of whether a criminal should be released in the 20s as it is today, and Nick is released.  


Nick goes to Spike Corcoran's funeral.  Nick's brother Joe is picked up and so is a woman.  A bunch of problems arise which pressure the cops to release Joe, but they don't budge.  Nick comes to get the woman, Hayes, out, and instead finds himself at risk of being arrested.  Hayes tricks him into admitting he killed the man at the party.  He is questioned and refuses to answer.  He is shot when he tries to escape.       

REVIEW:  The opening credit music is very misleading; they sound like they're preparing you to watch a movie about 1776.  Honestly, they should've held off on making this movie until sound became a dominant staple in Hollywood, which would've been the next year, 1929.  I feel like I can't enjoy a gangster film unless it has sound.  This didn't even have the fast action that we associate with silents; it had all the features of a sound film.  The only really good thing about it is that the swearing and other gangster life amenities make it authentic. 2.5 out of 5 stars because it did have good action.    

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Sunday, June 24, 2012

Silent Sunday: Laugh, Clown, Laugh (1928)

Director:  Herbert Brenon
Cast:  Lon Chaney, Bernard Siegel, Loretta Young, Cissy Fitzgerald, Nils Asther

Tonight TCM is showing circus movies.  Fun.  Good to be doing this one featuring the great Lon Chaney.

PLOT:  In spring, the traveling circus comes to Italy.  The day after a show, Tito (Lon Chaney.  Who the hell names a clown Tito?) finds an abandoned girl (Loretta Young) and tells Simon (Bernard Siegel.  Now that one I can believe) that he will keep her, against Simon's wishes.  Simon reluctantly agrees.  Tito makes her laugh and she soon warms up to him.  He decides to name her Simonetta, after Simon, who, having his heart warmed by the friendly gesture, gives her a kiss and befriends her.

Simonetta grows up with the circus and Tito and Simon train her.  When Tito decides that to make her a woman, she needs a rose in her hair, she goes to look for one and runs into Count Luigi Ravelli (Nils Asther).  He becomes smitten with her and again, you can tell how pre-code this is when he kisses her feet and pretty much strokes her boobs.  Lucretia (Gwen Lee) who appears to be his girlfriend, gets pissed and tells him to send her away, which she does go away, on her own accord.

Back at the circus, Simon is still being sexist and claiming that he will leave the act if Simonetta joins, claiming that women bring bad luck.  Simonetta shows up, dressed elaborately and Tito proclaims that she is a woman.  Unfortunately, Tito suffers a stroke and needs a doctor.

Three years later, at a Roman neurologist's office, Luigi seems to be suffering from laughing attacks.  And they said laughter is the best medicine.  Tito comes in, haggard and depressed, causing Luigi to laugh.  Damn punk rich kid with no respect for his elders.  Anyway, the doctor thinks Tito may be suffering from some sort of suppression of love and tells him to find the right lady.  When Tito claims that it wouldn't be right to tell her, the doctor tells him to find something that will make him laugh, and points him to a clown called Flik (again played by Chaney).  Tito claims he can never make him laugh because he himself is Flik.  Because of this, I will now refer to Tito as T-Flik.

Out on the balcony, Luigi and T-Flik strike up a friendship and try to cure each other.  Simonetta comes to see her mentor and pampers him as per the doctor's orders.  One night after a show, T-Flik confesses his love for Simonetta to Simon, who then tells him that Luigi has been using him to get to Simonetta.  Tito confronts Luigi, who of course decides to act like an ass until he sees how affected T-Flik is by this problem.  T-Flik confesses his love for Simonetta and the look on Luigi's face is priceless.  However, he plays the bigger man and will not stand in T-Flik's way.  However, T-Flik implores him to ask her if she loves him first.          

Coming back from his performance, T-Flik sees Luigi kissing Simonetta.  It is here that Simon delivers the famous lines:  "Laugh, clown, laugh!  Even if your heart is breaking!"  Luigi and Simonetta are engaged and Simonetta wants T-Flik with them.  Luigi agrees.

Simon comes up with a new idea for the act, but T-Flik says he cannot continue, claiming that his "heart's not in it."  In probably one of the saddest scenes I've ever seen, Simonetta shows up and repeats the joke that T-Flik taught to her as a child, but he is too mentally unstable to notice she's there.  Simonetta pleads T-Flik to admit his love for her and she admits she loves him.  They admit their love for each other and Simonetta tells Luigi.  However, T-Flik turns to Mary and professes that that whole time, Simonetta was lying.

Simon shows up to rehearsal that night to find Tito made up for some reason.  He tries to coax out the old T-Flik, the funny one, but no can do.  Finally T-Flik convinces himself that Simonetta is going to marry him and begins to laugh again.  When he proceeds to do his signature trick, the Death-Defying Slide, he falls off mid-trapeze and needs to be carted off stage and tended to.  His last words are "The comedy...is...ended!" He dies in Simon's arms.

REVIEW:  Well, now I know why teenage girls think it's fun to sleep with men twice their age.  Fun fact:  fans of SINGIN' IN THE RAIN will know who says ridi pagliacci at the beginning.  I know I picked up on that!


I thought this film was a bit odd and twisted, but it was great to see Lon in a non-horror role, as always; he never really got to show the world what he was about.  4 out of 5 stars.  I really enjoyed this film, but I thought the ending was a bit too sudden.  

Friday, June 15, 2012

Mothra (1962)

Director:  Ishiro Honda
Cast:  Frankie Sakai, Kyoko Kagawa, Hiroshi Koizumi

(Anyone else think that these movie posters look way too much alike?)

PLOT:  A ship is caught up in a violent hurricane.  It is overturned and the crewmen stranded on an island.  When they tell their story, the press is alarmed to discover that there are natives on Infant Island.  The Rolisican government decides to support an expedition to the island, led by Clark Nelson (Jerry Itou), radiation specialist Dr. Harada (Ken Uehara), linguist/anthropologist Shin'ichi Chujo (Hiroshi Koizumi) and a stowaway reporter, Zenichiro "Zen" Fukuda (Frankie Sakai).

On the island, Nelson discovers something out of THE WIZARD OF OZ:  some type of forest, complete with the strangest plants.  Meanwhile, Chujo is attacked by tentacle-like objects.  When he comes to, he talks about two foot-tall women that he saw.  Nelson finds them and abducts them, making them perform for him in his club, as they are fairies.  The girls and the natives pray to their god, Mothra, for help.  The egg they pray to hatches and a giant caterpillar begins swimming across the Pacific Ocean to Japan.  Meanwhile, Fukuda's newspaper has accused Nelson of holding the girls against their will; Nelson denies the charge and files a libel suit against the paper. Meanwhile, the island egg hatches to reveal a gigantic caterpillar, which begins swimming the Pacific Ocean toward Japan. The caterpillar destroys a cruise ship and survives a napalm attack on a beeline path for Tokyo. The Rolisican Embassy, however, defends Nelson's property rights over the girls, ignoring any connection to the monster.  Mothra finally arrives on the Japanese mainland, impervious to the barrage of weaponry directed at it, ultimately building a cocoon in the ruins of Tokyo Tower. Public feeling turns against Nelson, and he is ordered to release the girls. He flees incognito to Rolisica, where Mothra, newly hatched in an imago form, immediately resumes her search. Police scour New Kirk City for Nelson as Mothra lays waste to the metropolis. Ultimately Nelson is killed in a shootout with police, and the girls are assigned to Chūjō's care. Church bells begin to ring, and sunlight illuminates the cross atop the steeple with radiant beams, reminding Chūjō and Hanamura of Mothra's unique symbol and of the girls' voices. Chūjō hits upon a novel way to attract Mothra to an airport runway. The girls are returned amid salutations of "sayōnara", and Mothra flies back to Infant Island.        


REVIEW:  What the hell is this?  I think I found the worst movie ever made.  I don't understand making the hero a reporter in this case, but I did like the idea of a clear villain.  1 out of 5 stars; nothing in this film is really that enjoyable.

Trailer:

 

Rodan (1957)

Director:  Ishiro Honda
Cast:  Kenji Sahara, Yumi Shirakawa

This film features a creature that flies AND destroys things!  AND it's in color!

PLOT:  An engineer at a mine gets a call that a pump is flooded, but the pump is not a source of water.  One man is wounded and another is missing.  When three miners go looking for him, they happen across a disturbance in the mine.  All three are murdered.

Shigeru (Kenji Sahara) comforts Goro's sister Kiyo (Yumi Shirakawa) when a giant bug, of all things, invades the home.  Shigeru realizes that this is the thing that killed the three miners.  The police go after it, shooting it.  It drags a man down a mountain to his death and escapes.  Going to investigate again, the miners find the bug waiting for them, and fire.  The miners decide to release the mine cart, but, while it kills the poppa bug, there's still more.  Shigeru falls unconscious, and when he comes to, finds himself in a lair with a giant egg, which hatches and gives birth to a flying creature, known in Japanese lore as a rodan..

Japan and the Philippines are in awe of a strange flying object that travels at supersonic speeds.  A photo obtained from a happy, dead couple reveal the object to be a pteranodon.  Meanwhile, Shigeru gets his memory back and takes the professors to where he saw the creature.  They find a piece of the egg and the professor announces his findings.  Going out to look for the beast, they finally spot it at a distance.  It destroys their Jeep.  The Japanese by this point apparently still have not learned that firepower cannot hurt supernatural beings, and so they send in the air force.  The rodan flies over the city and creates a hurricane-like wind that destroys everything.

The new plan is to fire rockets and missiles into Mt. Aso.  This, unwisely, erupts the volcano and two rodans appear.  They fly around for a bit and then perish in the flames.    

REVIEW:  To be honest, I think this film should have been shot in black and white.  It would have had a much more profound effect on audiences and it would have been a lot scarier.  And I'm not seeing how the giant bugs relate to the rodan, unless all there was is how  Shigeru got to land next to the giant egg.  I don't know, the beginning didn't make sense to me, but I liked the ending.  3.5 out of 5 stars.

Trailer:
      

Gojira (1954)

Director:  Ishiro Honda
Cast:  Akira Takarada, Momoko Kochi, Akihiko Harata, Takashi Shimura

Tonight TCM is showing a string of J-horror films directed by Ishiro Honda.

PLOT:  A ship goes missing off of the Japanese coast.  Later on, a whole series of ships are missing and later presumed destroyed.  On Ohto Island where the survivors are stranded, a man named Masagi, who has been attacked, blames it on a monster.  The day after, an old man blames it on Godzilla as well.  He explains, during an exorcism ceremony to keep the monster away, that it leaves the ocean to feed on humans.

A hurricane blows up and blows something else up with it, and a when a young man, Shinkichi, investigates, he sees the something else.  During a council meeting in Tokyo, archaeologist Kyohei Yamane insists that investigators be sent to Ohto Island.  The investigators and Yamane come and determine that the well water is contaminated.  Yamane also finds a fossilized trilobite and radioactive footprints.  Meanwhile, the islanders panic as the monster strikes again.  Yamane determines that this creature is from the Jurassic Age.

Yamane returns to Tokyo and presents his findings.  A crazy lady demands that the truth be revealed and score one for Japanese feminism, because it is.  Ships are deployed to counter the monster and those crazy Japanese people even set up an Anti-Godzilla Hazard Center.  Now that's what I called preparednpeess!

At a dance, Godzilla rises out of the sea and disappears, frightening everybody.  Daisuke Serizawa, a scientist, is engaged to Yamane's daughter, Emiko, but she wants to call off the engagement.  Before she does that, Serizawa wants to show her his experiment, never giving Emiko a chance to break off their engagement.

That night, Godzilla strikes again.  Yamane orders the policeman to not use lights on the monster.  The monster says "Oh yeah?" and stomps on a train, causing everyone to rush out.

International researchers are called in.  The plan is to send 50,000 volts of electricity in hopes of electrocuting the monster.  A maximum security alert is issued and the citizens are evacuated.

On the night that Hideto Ogata decides to ask for Yamane's consent to marry his daughter, Yamane comes home, upset that the people who want to kill Godzilla do not want to keep him alive in captivity.  When Ogata insists that it's for the greater good, Yamane tells him to get out of his home.  Yamane needs to stop being angsty.  When an evil monster that's destroying everything and killing everybody is an imminent danger, um, yeah, you have to kill it.

The electricity is no match for Godzilla, as takes the fence down, causing a raging fire, and goes about destroying the town.  What I find pathetic about this monster is that he doesn't even breathe fire, just hot breath that somehow ignites everything.  Lame.  Anyway, the Japanese army is still too stupid to realize that guns and bombs won't take the lizard down as the tanks keep firing away.  Of course, the only person that seems to be enjoying this is the local media; Godzilla was Japan's Lindsay Lohan in 1954.  But don't worry; Godzilla takes care of them soon enough.  The people can do nothing but look on in fear and horror as Godzilla has made a mess of their town.  Godzilla descends into the waters of Tokyo Bay unharmed.

The next day, the dead are collected.  It is on this day that Emiko decides to betray Serizawa.  Serizawa invented an Oxygen Destroyer.  Despite the stupid name, it destroyed all of the fish in the tank by asphyxiation.  Ogata realizes that the machine can be of use to destroy Godzilla, so he begs Serizawa to let him use it.  However, as you probably can guess, Serizawa refuses and he and Ogata get into a scuffle.  Serizawa burns his notes and finally agrees to let the device be put to use.  He and Ogata go underwater together to use the device on the monster.  Serizawa plants the device and sacrifices his life.  The monster gives one final roar, then falls to its death.

REVIEW:  Well, the Japanese sure made better sci-fi flicks during the 50s than the Americans.  This wasn't corny at all, but it wasn't made to be truly scary, either; the film's director, Ishiro Honda, intended it to be an allegory for nuclear war.  4 out of 5 stars; I understand it wasn't made to be scary, but it could have been scarier.  More Honda films coming up.

Trailer:
  
 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

It's a Big Country: An American Anthology (1951)

Directors:  Clarence Brown, Don Hartman, John Sturges, Richard Thorpe, Charles Vidor, Don Weis, William A. Welman
Cast:  Ethel Barrymore, Gary Cooper, Van Johnson, Gene Kelly, Janet Leigh, Marjorie Main, Fredric March, George Murphy

This film is part of TCM's The Immigrant Experience, which runs every Wednesday night during June.  As you can see, it stars a bunch of A-listers (including William Powell and Keenan Wynn) dedicated to disproving McCarthyism, which was running rampant at the time, and displaying the diversity of American life.  While they have characters that they play, each of them is clearly identifying themselves as one of the people.

PLOT:  The film is divided into episodes, each detailing the life of a specific American.

EPISODE ONE:  William Powell tells about the different kinds of Americans, including immigrants, and asks us the question "Which American are you?"

EPISODE TWO:  Taking place in Boston (my town!), Ethel Barrymore goes to see a newspaper man, George Murphy.  Later on, a census man comes to visit her and she realizes she is not counted as a citizen.  Mr. Callaghan seeks to right this wrong.

EPISODE THREE:  This segment focuses on African-Americans in the armed forces and American sports, including Jackie Robinson and Joe Lewis.  Also focuses on African-Americans in the entertainment industry, medical fields, government and religious institutions.

EPISODE FOUR:  The agricultural episode.  Stefan Szabo (S.Z. Sakall) is an immigrant farmer who lives with his six daughters.  One of them runs into Icarus Xenophon (Gene Kelly, who, bless his heart and I love him, does a terrible job at playing a foreigner), a Greek who owns an ice cream parlor.  He gives her a ride and falls in love with her, but she realizes she can't marry him or work for him because she is Hungarian and Hungarians hate Greeks.  She eventually comes around when Icarus tells her wisely that not all Hungarians hate Greeks.  Rose tells her father who becomes enraged.  One day, the youngest sister sees Icarus and Rose and of course a Gene Kelly kissing scene has to be spoiled by a tattletale, and she tells her father and he gathers everyone to see the "betrayal."  He screams at Icarus, but the two have already married.  In the end, he's finally convinced that the Greeks are good people.

EPISODE FIVE:  Focusing on the American armed forces.  A soldier must deliver hard news to his buddy's mother.

EPISODE SIX:  Texas.  Yee-haw!  Gary Cooper (native Montanan.  Close enough, right?) explains to us the misconceptions of Texas.

EPISODE SEVEN:  Religion in America.  A newly ordained minister, Adam Burch (Van Johnson) gives a sermon that everyone is unsure of.  His boss thinks that he is preaching to one man and not the entire congregation.

EPISODE EIGHT:  Education in America.  A boy's father is an immigrant who is trying to teach his son.  The boy hears perfectly, but seems to have a problem with his eyes.  One night, the father tests his son's eyes and the boy realizes he has failing vision.  He gets glasses and realizes a big change.  That's how I felt when I got my glasses, kid!  The boy gets into a fight and takes his glasses off.  At the end, he learns that glasses are good!

REVIEW:  This is why I wish I was born in the 50s.  We no longer have this type of patriotism in our country today.  People like Gene Kelly, Gary Cooper, and the others listed were so proud of their country and happy to serve it by entertaining its people.  Now it's "Oh, America is going to hell and blah blah blah."  Yeah, they had the Korean War, McCarthyism and the Cold War, but they still carried through with their heads high and God on their side, unlike the pessimistic assholes we have in this country today.  I loved this film.  It showcases American life and even touches on the still-then-segregated African-Americans.  It even focuses on immigrants.  5 out of 5 stars.  I wish my generation were as patriotic as me and this film.

And yes,  Gene was HOT as a Greek man!         

Monday, June 11, 2012

Summer Stock (1950)

Director:  Charles Walters
Cast:  Judy Garland, Gene Kelly, Gloria DeHaven, Marjorie Main, Phil Silvers, Eddie Bracken

Tonight, I'm celebrating Judy Garland's birthday by reviewing a film that gives me two for the price of one:  Gene Kelly and Judy.  Three for the price of one, if you count Gloria DeHaven, who starred with my other boyfriend Donald O'Connor in YES SIR THAT'S MY BABY (1949).

PLOT:  Jane Falbury (Judy Garland) is a farmgirl.  Her actress sister Abigail (Gloria DeHaven) brings her theater troupe, led by director Joe Ross (Gene Kelly), to her barn, hoping to use it.  Of course, like every farm person whose life is disturbed, she doesn't like it.  So, she decides to make Joe and the gang do chores around the farm in return.  Clever.  Joe decides to play Mr. Rogers and teach everyone the value of a hard day's work through song.  Clever again.

Cheesy hilarity ensues as everyone tries to adapt to their new lives as farmers.  One night, Joe and Jane share a romantic song and dance which results in Joe kissing her and Jane running away.  The reason she does that is because Joe is set to marry Abigail and Jane is set to marry Orville (Eddie Bracken).  But that problem seems to be solved when Abigail leaves for New York for a part in a big show.  Joe and Phil Silvers (genius comedian) convince Jane to do the show.

The opening night is a success until Orville and Abigail show up.  They try to ruin Joe and Jane's relationship until they realize that they are in love with each other.  The film ends with a musical number (and Gene Kelly in a sexy green plaid shirt).

REVIEW:  I'm going to be completely and totally honest:  I loved Gene and Judy, as always, but this film was just downright crappy.  So below Gene's caliber of film, and I found myself shaking my head muttering "what the fuck?" during the hillbilly number that Phil and Gene performed.  I enjoyed the rest of the musical numbers, and Gene was beyond hot in this movie, so I guess I'll give it a 2.5 out of 5 stars.  Gene, I hope you're up there in Heaven appreciating the things I do for you, man. -_-

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Friday, June 8, 2012

The Black Cat (1934)

Director:  Edgar G. Ulmer
Cast:  Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, David Manners

Finally!  Lugosi and Karloff together in one film!  And then there's that hot guy who always plays losers, David Manners.

PLOT:  Peter and Joan Allison (David Manners, who looks a lot more handsome here than he does in DRACULA, and Julie Bishop) are honeymooning.  On a train, they share a room with a psychiatrist, Dr. Vitus Werdegast (Bela Lugosi.  I know, I'd turn down the role if I knew my character was going to be named that too) due to a mix-up in reservations, who says that he has returned from something.

When the bus the three share crashes and Joan is injured, the gang arrives at the home of Dr. Werdegast's friend, Hjalmar Poelzig (Boris Karloff).  Joan wakes up in a trance and Peter puts her to bed.      

Poelzig decides to sacrifice Joan in a Satanic ritual.  Oy vey...good thing Joan doesn't remember anything about the accident.  When Peter tries to leave, he is strangled and Joan collapses.  He is taken to a dungeon and Poelzig begins the ritual.  Joan escapes and finds Karen Werdegast, who tells her her father died in prison.  Werdegast saves her and Peter fights off the guard.  Poelzig catches up to Werdegast and the two engage in a struggle with the Chinese man involved.  Werdegast and the man finally get him!  Werdegast strips him of his clothing and decides to strip away his skin.    

Meanwhile, Peter awakens and shoots Werdegast.  The two leave and Werdegast pulls a switch, detonating the building.                        

REVIEW:  Like every film David Manners is in, someone has to save his ass from making it a shitty movie.  In DRACULA's case, it's Dwight Frye, Bela Lugosi and Edward van Sloan.  In this, it's Bela and Boris Karloff.  I guess the Universal costume department thought it would be funny to dress up Boris as a Romulan.  I did enjoy the Satanic ritual and the final scenes, though.  2.5 out of 5 stars.            

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The Innocents (1961)

Director:  Jack Clayton
Cast:  Deborah Kerr, Michael Redgrave, Peter Wyngarde, Megs Jenkins, Pamela Franklin, Clytie Jessop, Isla Cameron

Saturday Night Horror is on Friday night this week because some of us (hint hint) don't get Me-TV, therefore we can't join in with the gang for I SAW WHAT YOU DID, since pretty much none of us (hint hint) can find it online.  So we all decided to meet up tonight for THE BLACK CAT, and I thought I would get here early to review this film, which comes before it.

PLOT:  A governess (Deborah Kerr) takes charge of two children (Martin Stephens, Pamela Franklin), the niece and nephew of a wealthy man (Michael Redgrave).  When Miss Giddens arrives at Bly, the boy, Miles, is away at boarding school, but his sister Flora says he's coming home soon.  Flora instantly takes a liking to Miss Giddens and Miss Giddens takes a liking to Mrs. Grose (Megs Jenkins), the kind housekeeper.      

While Miss Giddens is putting Flora to sleep, she hears a strange sound.  She dismisses it as nothing, but that night, Flora gets up and spies on her sleeping.  Going over to the window, Flora hums a strange melody.

The next day, Miss Giddens receives a letter from Miles' school telling her that he has been sent home.  Miss Giddens remembers that Flora had said that Miles was coming home.  Miles comes home and is very flirtatious.  He wins over Miss Giddens easily.

The next day, Miss Giddens sees a flock of birds and a man standing on a balcony.  She follows the birds and finds Miles, who says that he has no recollection of a man ("maybe it was me.")  Later that night, Miss Giddens and the children play hide and seek.  Miss Giddens goes looking for the kids and sees the figure of a woman walking slowly across the hallway.  Ending up in a toy room, she discovers a locket with the previous owner of the house.  Miles finds her and now she has to find Flora.  She sees the figure of a man in a window who slowly fades away.  Mrs. Grose catches up to her and she looks up and finds the children laughing maniacally at her.        

One day, Miss Giddens is helping the children study.  She decides to let them put away their books and pretend it's Flora's birthday so she can talk to Mrs. Grose alone.  She reveals that it was Miles who found Peter Quint's (Peter Wyngarde) body and the power that Peter had over the boy.  Miles performs  a soliloquy for the ladies and his eyes bore straight into Miss Giddens', frightening her.  Mrs. Grose assures her that both Mrs. Jessel (Clytie Jessop) and Peter are dead and gone and that it's all over with and that she is just hallucinating.

Miss Giddens watches Flora tend to the ducks when the girl begins to hum the song from the music box, ignoring her questions.  She tells Mrs. Grose that she saw Mrs. Jessel at the lake, completely dressed in black.  She insists that the children must be saved.  She finally convinces Mrs. Grose to tell her the things she's seen.  Miss Giddens decides that the vicar needs to be told all of this.  Miss Giddens decides she can't take anymore and decides to take the next train back to London and see the children's uncle.  Mrs. Grose refuses to tell her how Mrs. Jessel died.

Pulling out a book from the bookcase, Miss Giddens sees a young woman sobbing at the podium, but when she rushes over, she finds no one there, but a teardrop on the blackboard.  Miss Giddens pulls a Ray Stantz and scientifically and astutely claims that Peter and Mrs. Jessel are possessing the children in order to find each other again.  

That night, Miss Giddens investigates when she hears laughter.  The laughter gets closer and closer but all the doors are locked and she can't find the source.  Returning to her room, she finds Flora sitting at the window watching Miles walking in the garden, seemingly in a trance.  She gathers up the boy, who claims that he was waiting for her.  She puts him to bed and he kisses her in a very adult way.  He too plays the song that Flora hums.

Flora goes missing and Miss Giddens and Mrs. Grose search by the lake.  They find her in the gazebo dancing to that damn music box tune.  Mrs. Jessel is across the lake again.  Miss Giddens yells at the girl, telling her that she knows she can she can see Mrs. Jessel.  The girl screams hysterically that she hates Miss Giddens, who can still see Mrs. Jessel.  Miss Giddens demands that the next day she be alone with Miles.  Is she stupid?

Finally alone with him, she tries to force the truth of why he got expelled out of him.  While he yells at her, she sees Peter's maniacal face in the window, clearly possessing the boy.  He hurls Flora's turtle through a window and runs away.  He trips and when Miss Giddens tries to force it out of him again, he loses it again. Peter disappears and everything is back to normal.  Miles dies in her arms.  The film ends strangely as she kisses him erotically.

REVIEW:  Probably the best British horror that isn't a Hammer film I've seen.  From the music at the beginning, you know this is going to be scary.  This film reeks of THE SHINING.  Loved the idea of the children being hosts for the possessors.  4.5 out 5 stars.

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Sunday, June 3, 2012

Silent Sunday: The Blot (1921)

Directors:  Phillips Smalley, Lois Weber
Cast:  Phillip Hubbard, Margaret McWade, Claire Windsor, Louis Calhern, Marie Walcamp

Sounds like a science fiction film, doesn't it?  Well, actually, this film is a drama.

PLOT:  The film begins as kind of a silent version of ANIMAL HOUSE, with a bunch of college students goofing off in front of their professor in a church-like lecture hall.  The story, however, focuses on three of these students, Phil West (Louis Calhern), Bert Gareth and Walt Lucas.  Parallels are drawn between a college student of 1921 and a college student of today:  they hate class.

Phil is in love with his professor's daughter, Amelia Griggs (Claire Windsor).  Only one problem:  her father (Phillip Hubbard) and her mother (Margaret McWade) are dirt poor and to rub it in, they live next door to a rich shoemaker.  They can't even make good enough food ("weak tea with a poor cream substitute and a piece of toast with butter on the side").  Meanwhile, in the life of Animal House, Juanita Claredon (Marie Walcamp) asserts that she has top claim to Phil.  She even stalks him, following him to the library, where she thinks he's picking up books, but really he's trying to pick up Amelia.  He offers to take her home and she agrees.  However, another man is vying for Amelia's affection:  Peter Olsen, the shoemaker's son.

Phil meets Reverend Gates and spends some time with him at his home and they become fast friends.  That night, Mr. Olsen spends his time being a grumpy old man is usual while the kids have a party across the street.  When the party moves to his place, he says "screw this" and leaves.  Meanwhile, Peter has no one to party with.  Hans, his father, sees Mrs. Griggs opening his trash can to feed her cat and feels sorry for her and decides to help her.

Amelia falls ill and Phil decides to be a nice guy and bring her flowers.  The Reverend comes to do the same and the tension and rivalry increases.  Meanwhile, Mrs. Olsen is being a bitch and rubbing it in to Mrs. Griggs that her family is well-fed and the latter's isn't.  Mrs. Griggs decides to go into debt and ask for credit.   However, she has a hard time buying chicken at the store because they don't take credit.  So what doe she do?  Well, like any good poor person, she steals the Olsen's chicken before giving it back, but not before she is discovered.

Amelia feels well enough to go back to work at the library and Phil is there to see her home.  He visits his father and demands that Dr. Griggs be paid more.  The film ends rather strangely:  at a gathering of the night class at the Griggs' home, Reverend Gates sees Phil with Amelia and decides to give her up to him.  The film ends with him walking away from the Griggs' home, depressed.

REVIEW:  Despite the ending, I wouldn't call this film "strange" at all.  It in fact is quite useful; if you're looking to throw a 20s-themed party or are looking for 20s-themed clothes for whatever reason, this film has some GREAT examples of the flapper lifestyle, and also the fashions that were popular for men at the time.  I liked the clash between upper-middle and lower class.  After a while, though, it got boring, so 4 out of 5 stars.   

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Saturday Night Horror: THE MUMMY'S CURSE (1944)

Director:  Leslie Goodwins
Cast:  Lon Chaney, Jr., Peter Coe, Virginia Christine

Yes, Leslie Goodwins is a man.

This week, Sven is returning to his regular horror programming with a Lon Chaney, Jr. film (you might know him from THE WOLFMAN).

PLOT:  In the bayous of Louisiana, two representatives of the Scripps Museum, Dr. James Halsey (Dennis Moore) and Dr. Ilzor Zandaab (Peter Coe) come to investigate the swamps, which are going to be drained but are being hampered by the workers, who claim they are haunted.

A black worker becomes frantic and says that a man has been killed.  Pat Walsh (Addison Richards), the head of the swamp project, tells him to alert Cajun Joe (Kurt Katch), a Frenchman who knows a lot about these things.  At the site of the murder, the men find an imprint on the ground which they think is a man's body (mind you, this thing looks like a frickin puzzle piece, not a man's body).

Dr. Zandaab turns out to be - GASP! - a channeler who is sent to revive Kharis (Lon Chaney, Jr.).  Together, he and his assistant Ragheb (Martin Kosleck) recite an ancient story, than feed Kharis the elixir, bringing the mummy back to life.  A caretaker intrudes and the mummy immediately goes to work, killing the intruder.

Meanwhile, Princess Ananka (Virginia Christine) rises and is rescued by Cajun Joe.  Kharis chases after her, because according to the story, she is his love, but unfortunately for him, she doesn't remember him and he ends up killing Tante Berthe, the cafe singer, instead.  The next day, she wakes up coherently speaking, but has no idea who she is or what has happened to her.  Dr. Halsey puts her to work in his lab, where he is shocked that she knows who Kharis is and even more shocked when she begins to call his name.

That night, the mummy comes for Ananka and the doctor and ends up killing Dr. Cooper.  The mummy breaks into the tent and takes Ananka with him.  Ragheb and Betty Walsh (Kay Harding) go to the tomb to rescue her.  Ananka dies and the men with guns show up and Dr. Halsey, despite there being thankfully no love scenes in this film, walks away with Betty.  The End.

REVIEW:  This movie only lasted 57 minutes, which explains why I only found it mediocre.  The plot seemed very basic:  bad guys revive mummy, climax, end.  It had great, spooky music though.  3 out of 5 stars.

The film is available on Netflix here.        
        

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

It Came From Beneath the Sea (1955)

Director:  Robert Gordon
Cast:  Kenneth Tobey, Faith Domergue, Donald Curtis

Don't you wish that Curtis would change to O'Connor?


Anyway, I'm making it up TO you and FOR Sven by reviewing...another campy 50s sci-fi film, this one starring people that no one, not even me, has heard of.

PLOT:  A giant octopus attacks Navy sailors in a submarine in the San Francisco Harbor, captained by Commander Pete Mathews (Kenneth Tobey).  They are able to get away, recovering a small bit of tissue.  A pair of marine biologists, Lesley Joyce (Faith Domergue) and John Carter (Donald Curtis), are called in to Pearl Harbor, where the ship is docked.  They determine the tissue to be that of an octopus.  Of course, it is Pete's responsibility to play the creepy old man and provide the gratuitous love story, hitting on Lesley.

Robert David Chase visits the team and is skeptical when Dr. Carter presents the octopus (a normal-sized one) as the villain, causing Lesley to become rightly pissed.  Later that night, the giant octopus attacks another boat of sailors, who escape in a dinghy.  The unlucky few left on the ship get devoured by Cthulhu.  Carter and Lesley are supposed to go to Cairo, but after they kiss, Pete's boss informs them that their ship has been attacked and they will not be able to go.

Meanwhile, the survivors of the octopus' latest attack tell the doctor what happened to them, and of course he's skeptical.  Lesley has the idea to use her sex appeal to her advantage.  She puts the admiral on the phone and tells the patient to recount his story, finally convincing the admiral to close off trade in the Pacific and begin a search.

The admiral, Chase, Pete, Lesley and Carter meet to discuss possible avenues of investigation to catch the beast.  They decide to investigate the scenario most likely:  a marine station off the coast of Canada that has lost contact with land, and Lesley asks that they consider the second likely:  deep-sea fishermen in the Pacific Northwest complaining about lack of fish.  Pete asks to go with Lesley, but his boss objects until he receives a telegram telling him that an Oregon family has been taken into the Pacific Ocean.

One night, while having sexy time on the beach, Pete and Lesley receive a visit from Dr. Carter, who confirms that it really is an octopus.  The dopey sheriff gets attacked by the thing and the entire West coast prepares for an attack.  Lesley takes the press down to the San Fran Naval Yards to see the warhead that will be aimed at the monster's brain, its one vulnerable spot.

The monster strikes at the Golden Gate Bridge, taking hold of it.  Carter tries to hurry and pull the switch, but not before the monster crushes a cop car.  In a cool scene, the fiend breaks through the pavement and the bridge, destroying the man-made structures.  Then, strangely, it disappears into the sea.

Taking a breather here to say that stupidity was just as rampant in the 50s as it is today.  If the guy says the ferry boats are closed, then THE FERRY BOATS ARE CLOSED.  That means DON'T RUN UP TO THE FERRY EXPECTING A RIDE.  Sheesh...

In probably a few of the most famous scenes in sci-fi cinema history, the local fishermen become terrified when the monster rears its ugly tentacles.  Its tentacles are now on land, threatening the locals and their buildings.  Its tentacle sneaks through the entrance of the Oakland Ferry, destroying it (I actually support this move.  Maybe people won't be as stupid now).

When the monster hits the city, it destroys everything in sight, until the fire department comes and picks up the Navy's slack by using flamethrowers on the beast.  The sub fires a torpedo that lodges into the creature's skin.  After a diver goes out with a spear but does not return, Carter goes out for himself, armed with a harpoon gun.  The following sequence takes place:

JOHN used HARPOON GUN!
It's super effective!

SUBMARINE used TORPEDO!
It's super effective!

Enemy OCTOPUS has fainted!
NAVY and JOHN gain x points for winning!

The End.

REVIEW:  Okay, I have to admit:  neither this film, nor the CREATURE films, are campy.  They just seem that way.  They really are genuinely scary and terrifying.  I feel sorry for these poor San Franciscans.  They never have it easy when it comes to natural disasters.  First in 1906 and then in 1955.  Poor things.  Some of the music was unexplainable, such as the score played when the monster attacks the city.  I liked this film and was generally terrified by it.  4 out of 5 stars.    
              
The film was filmed in black and white, but is in color on YouTube.  Part 1:
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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Horse Feathers (1932)


Director:  Norman Z. McLeod
Cast:  Groucho Marx, Chico Marx, Harpo Marx, Zeppo Marx, Thelma Todd, Reginald Barlow

This week, Svengoolie isn't airing a horror film.  Rather, he's airing a Marx Brothers film!  Nice change of pace, yeah?

PLOT:  Wagstaff (Zeppo Marx) is in his 12th year of college at Huxley.  His father Professor Wagstaff (Groucho Marx - "I'm ashamed to be your father") wants them to win the big Thanksgiving Day football game against Darwin.

The professor goes to a speakeasy in an attempt to find football players and finds them in Baravelli the Ice Man (Chico Marx) and his assistant Harpo, a dog catcher.  His son, meanwhile, visits his girl and tells her that his dad wants him to give her up.

Professor Wagstaff insists that they tear down the college and focus on football.  He interrupts a biology class and gives the students false information.  We all know which class they're gonna fail this semester.  Baravelli and Harpo start a spitball war with him and he is forced to leave.

Professor Wagstaff flirt with his son's love interest (Thelma Todd), and so does Baravelli.  It is in this scene that Chico shows off his amazing piano skills.        

Professor Wagstaff and Baravelli plot to kidnap some football players, but Baravelli is offered $500 to steal the Huxley signals.  He brushes it off and it falls on the college widow to get the signals from the professor.  The two go out in a boat and Quincey foils the widow and sends her overboard.

Baravelli and Harpo go kidnap the Darwin players.  Or at least, they TRY to kidnap the Darwin players; after a fight, the players strip them of their clothes and leave them in their apartment.  But they escape and head to the big game.

At the game, Harpo scores touchdown after touchdown by doing what Harpo does best:  by getting footballs off of a chariot and putting them in the endzone.  Huxley wins and the three boys get married to Thelma.  The End.

REVIEW:  I think this film is cool because each of the Marxes get to show off what they can do:  Groucho and Zeppo sing, Chico plays piano, and Harpo plays...well...harp.  Groucho's one-liners are spot on and hilarious as usual.  I highly recommend any Marx Brothers comedy; you will be laughing right when the opening credits start.  Speaking of the opening credits, I love the musical numbers in this film, though apparently Groucho himself didn't.  4 out of 5 stars.  Very funny.

Here is the full film        


Saturday, May 12, 2012

Saturday Night Horror: Revenge of the Creature (1955)

Director:  Jack Arnold
Cast:  John Agar, Lori Nelson

This week we're reviewing the sequel to CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON.

PLOT:  The sequel finds Lucas, the crusty boat captain from the first CREATURE, journeying to the Amazon with two new men.  He tells them the story of the Gill Man.  Nervous, the men dive for and capture the beast and transfer him to the Oceanarium in Florida.  Clete Ferguson (John Agar) a psychologist there, is sent with Joe Hayes, the Gill Man's keeper, to look after the creature.

The creature is put into a dolphin show and Clete goes out with Helen Dobson (Lori Nelson), an ichthyology student.  They dive to observe the creature.  The creature takes an immediate like to Helen and the revenge begins.  The creature ends up escaping, causing a nationwide panic.

Clete and Helen go to a party in Jacksonville where the creature unexpectedly lurks.  They narrowly escape the creature's grasp after making out.  The creature invades the party, causing terror.  A manhunt is called and everyone is to go indoors.  Helen's body is found by two college students who are attacked by the creature, who subsequently carries the limp Helen away.

The police captain calls out a massive search for the creature.  They catch the fiend who finally releases Helen.  The End.

REVIEW:  Hey look, another campy 50s sci-fi sequel that was just as campy as the first, although I liked the first CREATURE better.  Of course, it was hard to pay attention with the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 crew making wisecracks the entire time.  3 out of 5 stars.
      
The MST3K version is here:

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