Cast: Douglas Fairbanks
Wicked excited that TCM is showing this feature for Silent Sunday because I finally get to see the great Douglas Fairbanks in action.
PLOT: The film begins with a flashback to Three Musketeers-era France, with Fairbanks starring as D'Artagnan and engaging in a sword fight. Fast-forwarding 128 years, we find our hero, an All-American boy that goes by the name of Ned Tacker, played by a less heroic, geeky-looking Fairbanks. We learn that Ned does a less-than-D'Artagnan-like job of defending himself in a barroom brawl, but still manages to get the job done. Well, half of the job done, at least; he manages to upset his love interest so much that she slaps him.
Flashing back to shortly before Ned was born, there is a big tornado or wind storm of some sort in his small Kansas town. Mrs. Tacker, for some reason, has high hopes for her child, saying that she prays for him to be like D'Artagnan. Ned grows up like D'Artagnan - "always chivalrous, always misunderstood. He finished four years of college in six months - by request." We learn that Ned is chivalrous, but he displays chivalry naively.
When Mrs. Thacker (Edythe Chapman) reads Ned The Three Musketeers, we see that Ned is an incorrigible man-child with a longing to get out of Kansas. He feels the unexplainable need to climb up the steeple of a church and shout to the whole town that he wants to leave. His mother, who is one of those parents that thinks their kids can do no wrong, is deathly proud of him. "He will always be a boy," she says.
Ned sets off on his adventures in a swanky new car (for 1917, this is a pretty nice ride) which he drives right into a fence. I wonder what they had for DMVs back in 1917, because Ned certainly needs one.
Ned pulls up alongside Forrest Vandeteer (Eugene Ormonde) and Elsie Dodge (Marjorie Daw) and ends up making friends with the valet, a Frenchman who knows the story of D'Artagnan. Great minds think alike. Everyone heads to El Tovar and comes face-to-face with mules blocking their path. Here, Fairbanks shows he can be funny as well as adventurous when he attempts to ask the mule to get out of the way, and it works! Asking nicely always works. Trust me.
From John Blabb, a gossip columnist, Ned learns that Forrest has three wives stashed away, and that Elsie is his latest victim.
Venturing out into the Grand Canyon, we meet Chin-de-dah (Frank Campeau), the chief of an ancientIndian clan, and James Brown (Tully Marshall), a fugitive from New York. Chin-de-dah complains to James that he needs a woman. #guy problems
The next morning, everyone decides to go riding. That is. everyone except for Ned; he stays behind and questions Elsie's mother (Kathleen Kirkham). He asks her why she is letting Forrest (whom he kindly refers to as a "monkey") marry her daughter. Mrs. Dodge exclaims eloquently, "You are a nice boy!" ...Really, lady? I mean, yeah, you don't like Forrest, and that's all well and good, but really, put up a fight.
Anyway, she tells him to run after her to save her from Forrest, but James tells him that there is no possible way to reach her unless he takes the scary way through. Ned, being the genius that he is, ties a rope to a tree and he and James climb down ("take the elevator," as Ned affectionately calls it). Ned climbs the ladder all the way up to the cave where no one ever returns from alive.
Chin-de-dah arrives and announces that he is getting married to Elsie and Forrest says that he will have him arrested. Ned hears all of this and points a gun at Chin-de-dah, intending to kill him. A cool fight in the cave ensues with Nerdy Ned punching Chin-de-dah's lights out.
Forrest runs into James, who seems to remember him from National City but Forrest doesn't (hate it when that happens). James claims that Forrest cheated him out of his wife and kids and they begin fighting. Ned catches up to Forrest and forces him to write that James is innocent and that he will never pursue Elsie again and return to one of his wives. The cops and Chin-de-dah chase after Ned, but Ned is too fast for them. He grabs Chin-de-dah's knife away from him, keeping it "as a souvenir."
Forrest offers to pay Ned $100,000 as soon as he is out of danger if Ned helps save his life. Ned agrees and pulls him and Elsie up by the rope from which he descended. The film ends with Ned promising to share the $100,000 with Forrest, Elsie ends up with him, and the bad guys are foiled.
REVIEW: As an aside, I really hate it when TCM lists the silent films as simply "silents" and doesn't list a genre on the schedule on tcm.com.
Douglas Fairbanks was a silent film pioneer. He introduced the swashbuckler genre, or rather, just the adventure genre in general. He reminds me of Don Lockwood in SINGIN' IN THE RAIN. This was the first Fairbanks film I've had the pleasure of seeing, and it was nice to see him play comedy. A lot of actors (Frank Sinatra, for example. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE, anyonw?) are known for one genre and one genre only, and never really get a chance to show what they can really do, and what they went to film school for, so it was nice that Douggie got to show that he was talented in the comedy field as well here. 3.5 out of 5 stars; a bit confusing, and the film ends a teeny bit too quickly.
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